[ I am analog ]

Hitlist for 2009

2009-01-12T13:40:00.002+08:00

My resolutions for 2009
- Save money
- Lose the gut
- Maintain a balance between work, friends and gf
- Sleep earlier

Things to do for 2009
- Clean up my office desk
- Reduce budgeted spending and not to spend so much on clothes this year
- Visit the gym more often than now. I'm targeting 2 times a week for starters.
- Try to go home early if possible

My Hit and Misses of 2008

2008-12-31T12:29:00.007+08:00

Hits/Successes of 2008

1. Two overseas holidays within 6 months and scaled the city walls (Bangkok & Hanoi)

2. Attended the first KHS 1998 alumni gathering in Langkawi

3. Got promoted

4. Received first proper bonus

5. Attempted to climb the highest mountain (Mt. Kinabalu)

6. Joined Toastmasters International and felt good about it

7. Found what i've looking for

Misses/Failures of 2008 (no epic ones yet)

1. This blog has been crossed out by Jedi Master OverTheEdge

2. Did not reach the peak of Mt. Kinabalu (below)

3. Did not win anything at Sports Toto, Magnum 4D, Da Ma Cai, Big Sweep...sighs...

Cheers & Happy New Year!

The Coming Energy Wars

2008-06-05T14:32:00.002+08:00

Oil prices could hit $200 a barrel in the next few months. How the spike changes everything.

This spring, America hit a historic point. With average gas prices per gallon edging toward $4, America's notoriously profligate ways started to change fast. Americans are driving less, using mass transit more, buying fewer gas guzzlers, indeed shopping less wantonly in general, and lowering their previously unshakable confidence as consumers. Suddenly, Americans are acting differently; if not exactly like Swedes, then not quite like themselves, either. It's a shift that could change the world.

And there are more changes to come. So far the price shock has triggered the most obvious consumer shifts in the United States. Europeans, already greener, are also are buffered by a stronger currency, and Asians are protected from the spiking price of oil by subsidies that control the impact on gas prices at the pump. But if oil prices continue to rise, and the subsidy dam breaks, as seems likely, the energy revolution now transforming America will spread. "We sailed through $80 a barrel," notes energy authority Daniel Yergin, author of "The Prize: The Epic Quest for Oil, Money and Power" and chairman of Cambridge Energy Research Associates. "But that doesn't mean we'll sail through $200 a barrel. That sort of price would have enormous global consequences."

A year ago no one was talking about $200 oil, and now everyone in the markets is, for scary reasons. Oil prices climbed from $10 in 1999 to $95 last year without slowing the surging world economy, in large part because the markets believed the spike was at core driven by rising demand, particularly from India and China, which feeds growth. There was concern over supply, too, but nothing like the tumult prompted by the stranglehold OPEC imposed on the world in the 1970s, at least not until recent months. As the per-barrel price climbed over the last few months, with futures reaching $135 last week, the consensus began shifting to a new more gloomy view: that not only would long-term demand, led by China and India, continue to grow, but that the supply threats, including increasing conflict, falling investment, industry bottlenecks and downward estimates of big field reserves in major oil states—aren't going away any time soon. Now many (though not all) serious people take $200 oil—and the prospect of another '70s-style oil shock—seriously. Goldman Sachs warned that the $200 barrier could be hit within the next six to 24 months.

That's way too fast for comfort (or should be) even for those who welcome high gas prices as a way to induce energy conservation and fight global warming. Already skyrocketing oil prices are causing real pain for ordinary people, threatening global economic growth, and reviving the specter of inflation. The price pressure is now particularly acute in big emerging markets like China and India, which in recent years had become paragons of fiscal responsibility that tended to dampen global inflation by exporting cheap goods and services. Now they threaten to become exporters of inflation, particularly if energy price controls give way. Americans now making up for their losses at the gas pump by flocking to Wal-Mart for cheap Chinese goods would be out of luck. Make no mistake: $200 oil in 2009 would be a painful shock, not just a green tax on gas guzzlers.

Oil drives so much of the global economy, it's almost impossible to fully imagine the world of $200 oil. No question, the shock will force nations to go greener much faster than now, particularly by conserving energy and developing and adopting new non-fossil fuels. But none of this can happen full stop in six to 24 months. So the predictions tend to be gloomy: some analysts see a shift toward regional trade, and even a major reversal of globalization itself, as rising transport costs make it too expensive to ship many kinds of goods long distances. A major acceleration in the transfer of wealth that has, in the past five years, shifted trillions of petrodollars from oil consumers to producers would alter the world balance of power—including a boost for the troublesome oil autocrats of Iran, Venezuela and Russia. At $200 a barrel the proven oil reserves of the six Gulf nations alone would rise in value to $95 trillion, about twice the size of public equity markets, according to Morgan Stanley managing director Stephen Jen. That would make the Sovereign Wealth Funds of oil states market kingmakers. Western efforts to press more openness on these funds, many controlled by royal courts, would surely grow.

While some optimists believe the windfall could bring the Middle East into the modern world if it's smartly invested, that's a big if. Already many small states are struggling to wisely invest their oil windfall to date, and the corrupting curse of oil wealth is well known. Michael L. Ross, associate professor of political science at UCLA, notes that the percentage of the world's wars that take place in oil states is growing. The number of oil states is also rising—with Cambodia, East Timor and others joining the ranks—with more likely to follow as prices climb. Many of these newcomers are small, and ill equipped to cope with the corruption that often wastes the windfall.

No industry will be unaffected. Any company that moves goods or people needs oil. At $200 oil could make the long-predicted death of Detroit, or at least one of its Big Three, a reality. Airlines are vulnerable too. Skyrocketing jet fuel prompted American to announce it would cut flights due to the grounding of numerous older, less fuel-efficient planes. Air France-KLM recently warned that profits are likely to fall by a third this year, and CEO Jean-Cyril Spinetta suggests $200 oil would represent a far bigger shock than 9/11 or the SARS epidemic of 2003, which sent the airline industry into a tailspin. "It's more than a change, it's a revolution, a new industry, in fact," says Spinetta. "We would have a lot of bankruptcies very rapidly in Europe, the U.S., and Asia. And there will be restructuring of networks, cutting routes, cutting capacities." The effect of mergers and cutbacks may leave smaller cities from Tuscany to the American Midwest with ghost airports.

The oil-induced depression of the American consumer may be a harbinger of what's to come elsewhere. In the United States, consumer confidence is now at a 15-year low. Energy Department data show that $4-a-gallon gas is finally forcing Americans to cut back on driving; this year gas consumption in the country is expected to drop for the first time since 1991. No amount of "fiscal stimulus" looks likely to help: Citibank estimates that even if prices merely stay as they are, the year-on-year increase in the U.S. consumer-gas bill will siphon away the bulk of the $120 billion in expected tax rebates. As food and gas prices go up, spending on everything else will go down. No wonder big-box stores like Wal-Mart are having record quarters, and middle-market chains are suffering.

Expect these trends to hit Europe soon, too. Germans are actually beginning to slow down on the autobahn to save fuel, which has risen in price from 0.92 to 1.53 euros per liter since 2000 (a 66 percent increase). Analysts say that the more Europeans spend on gas, the less they will spend on furniture, clothing and white goods. Indeed sales in all those categories are already down. "It's going to feel like a global recession inside many companies," notes Citibank European equities economist Richard Reid. "We expect an increase in corporate failures, and a lot of M&A. You might well see flush emerging-markets firms [think Tata] swooping in to buy up ailing Western firms on the cheap."

With oil futures up 40 percent in just the last two months, the sense of an accelerating shock is already palpable in the United States. While American automakers were moving slowly toward smaller cars before the spike, sales of SUVs and pickups are now falling so fast, they appear to be caught flat-footed. "At $200, GM tanks," says energy expert Philip Verleger. "They just don't have time to fix their fleet." Ford CEO Alan Mullaly, warning two weeks ago that he no longer expects a return to profitability in 2009, said he believes the gas-price shift is permanent. Ford has slashed production of its F-series pickup trucks, an American best seller for 20 years. Meanwhile, Nissan unveiled a $115 million new plant outside Tokyo designed to build lithium-ion fuel cells to power a new generation of battery cars.

The individual decisions about what we'll drive, how often we'll fly and whether we'll upgrade our televisions as quickly are only part of the larger macroeconomic threat of higher oil prices. The threat has yet to be officially tallied; major financial institutions like Morgan Stanley have only just begun to seriously discuss the potential downgrades to the global economy should $200 oil become a reality. But already, it's clear that oil is catalyzing the threat of inflation in rich countries as well as poor. Inflation looks likely to be about 5 percent in the United States this summer, and about 3 percent in Europe. But in emerging economies, double-digit inflation could become the norm. "In America, it will feel like the opposite of the 1990s," says Morgan Stanley chief U.S. economist Richard Berner. "But if you think things won't be pleasant for industrial nations, think about developing economies, where people spend 50 percent of their income on food and fuel."

Indeed, there's concern that as higher oil prices force many Asian economies to reduce or even cut their generous fuel subsidies, growth will slow sharply, and there could be social unrest as the world's poorest become more desperate. The political ramifications of this (which already include moves away from free trade), combined with the ever-rising costs of doing business as usual, could force a retrenchment from globalization. "It's a harbinger of the reversal of globalization," says Jeff Rubin, chief economist for CIBC World Markets. "At $200 a barrel, you'll see transport costs rise so much that they will effectively reverse the trade liberalization of the last 30 years." He predicts that world trade will realign itself regionally, so that while Japan may continue to ship in goods from China, the United States will increasingly import from Latin America. "If you look at the period from 1973 to 1979 [when oil spiked] you'll find the same thing happened," he notes. "The share of imports to the U.S. from Latin America and the Caribbean rose by 6 percentage points. That was all about freight costs."

Regionalism won't stop at trade. There will be new financial and service hubs in energy-rich areas like Russia, Latin America and the Gulf. Sovereign Wealth Funds will continue to buy up big chunks of Western banks and blue-chip companies, as well as investing more broadly in a new range of countries and currencies (which is likely to make forex movements stronger and more unpredictable). The rise of the Sovereign Wealth Funds has already triggered a protectionist backlash, including U.S. moves to step up the vetting of foreign investors in American firms.

Worse conflicts are possible. "As areas like the Mideast and Africa, Russia and Venezuela continue to rise, you're going to see increasing energy greed, aggressive behaviors and neocolonial actions on the part of various countries," predicts Scott Nyquist, the head of McKinsey's energy practice. As Iran gets richer, Hizbullah might get stronger. China will clearly wield more might in Africa. Western ideas about civil society, the environment and women's rights could be displaced with new sets of values.

More blood will almost certainly be spilled. Oil wealth tends to wreak havoc on a nation's economy and politics, discouraging diversity, aggravating ethnic grievances and making it easier to fund insurgencies. Oil countries now host about a third of the world's civil wars, up from one fifth in 1992. "There's a vicious cycle, which you can see played out in places like Iraq and Nigeria, where conflict fuels higher prices, and higher prices in turn fuel conflict," says UCLA's Ross.

The lack of any spare capacity in the global pipeline makes it difficult to solve such situations with sanctions; taking any oil off the market would, at this point, merely ignite an already explosive situation. The megatrends fueling the global supply shortage tend to feed on one another. Higher prices fuel the growing tendency of oil states like Russia and Venezuela to re-nationalize fields. That often leads to lower output, due to the inefficiency of most state oil companies, notes Sanford Bernstein analyst Ben Dell. The publicly traded companies have to go where they can. As fields in peaceful places (Alaska, the North Sea) are tapped out, the hunt for new oil has moved into conflict zones (Nigeria and Angola) or geologically extreme territory (Siberia, the deep sea). And while higher prices are already driving down energy consumption in rich nations, that drop does not offset the booming demand in emerging markets.

Meanwhile, though numerous green technologies hold plenty of promise, none of them are going to save the day any time soon. "It's a false god," says Robin West, chairman of PFC Energy. "There will be step changes in technology, but people forget the scale of the oil business. Ethanol production was 5 billion gallons last year, with huge subsidies to farmers and rising food prices. But that's the size of one production platform off the coast of West Africa."

So, what's to be done? For starters, policy makers might stop grilling big oil companies about why prices are so high (since they now control only a small percent of known reserves, it's largely out of their hands), support smarter green initiatives (wind and solar credits rather than ethanol boondoggles) and stop pandering to voters with subsidies and gas-tax cuts that ignore the new reality—oil is a finite resource, more people want more of it, and the profligacy with which we've used it is going to change. "There's a fuel that's cheap, clean and readily available, and it's called conservation," says West. By some estimates, the world could save 25 percent of its oil usage with simple measures like driving the speed limit, turning off lights, and fully using the green technology we already have (hybrids, better insulation, etc, etc). While it's never been the inclination of rich nations—particularly America—to rein in consumption, it's a notion we'll undoubtedly become more comfortable with as energy prices rise. It happened in the 1970s. It will happen again—and if we're very lucky, it will become the important and lasting effect of $200 oil.

Rana Foroohar

NEWSWEEK

Recoil

2008-06-05T13:09:00.003+08:00

Painful though it is, this oil shock will eventually spur huge change. Beware the hunt for scapegoats.

IN THE early 1970s a fourfold rise in the price of oil almost brought the world to a standstill. The shock of the Arab embargo left a deep mark in many countries: America subjected its cars to fuel-efficiency standards, France embraced nuclear power—though sadly shoene rukku, or “energy-conscious fashion”, the inspiration for Japan's fetching short-sleeved business suit, was ahead of its time.

Thirty-five years on, oil prices have quadrupled again, briefly soaring to a peak of just over $135 a barrel. But, so far, this has been a slow-motion oil shock. If the Arab oil-weapon felt like a hammer-blow, this time stagnant oil output and growing emerging-market demand have squeezed the oil market like a vice. For almost five years a growing world shrugged it off. Only now is it recoiling in pain.

Gordon Brown, Britain's prime minister, thinks the big oil producers can be persuaded to come to the rescue. But only Saudi Arabia shows any enthusiasm for that. Elsewhere, output is growing agonisingly slowly. That is causing hardship and recrimination. But it could also come to represent an opportunity. The slow-motion shock seems irresistible today, but in time it will give rise to an equally unstoppable and more positive slow-motion reaction.

Action replay

It is clear that high oil prices are hurting many economies—especially in the rich world. Goldman Sachs reckons consumers are handing over $1.8 trillion a year to oil producers. The wage-price spiral of the 1970s has been avoided, but the income shock is painful. Beset by scarce credit, falling asset prices and costly food, developed-country households are hardly well-equipped to foot the oil bill. America's emergency tax rebate, voted this year to help people cope with the credit crunch, has in effect been taken right away again.

Stuck for answers, politicians have been looking for scapegoats. Top of the list are the speculators profiting from other people's hardship. Some $260 billion is invested in commodity funds, 20 times the level of 2003. Surely all that hot money has supercharged the demand for oil? But that is plain wrong. Such speculators do not own real oil. Every barrel they buy in the futures markets they sell back again before the contract ends. That may raise the price of “paper barrels”, but not of the black stuff refiners turn into petrol. It is true that high futures prices could lead someone to hoard oil today in the hope of a higher price tomorrow. But inventories are not especially full just now and there are few signs of hoarding.

If the speculators are not to blame, what about the oil companies, which have failed to increase output in spite of record profits? Profiteering, say some. However, that accusation doesn't stand up to much scrutiny either. The oil price is set in a market. For Shell, Exxon et al to hoard oil underground would be to leave billions of dollars of investment languishing unused. Others fear that oil is pricey because it is running out. But there is little evidence to support the doctrine of “peak oil” in its extreme form. The Middle East still seems to contain a sea of the stuff. Even if new finds elsewhere have been rarer and less accessible than in the past, vast quantities of oil could now be profitably stripped from tar sands and shale.

The truth is more prosaic. Finding and developing new oil fields is an expensive and time-consuming business. The giant new fields in the deep water off Brazil are unlikely to produce oil for a decade or more. Furthermore, oil is perverse. When prices are low, oil-rich countries welcome the low-cost, high-tech and well-capitalised oil firms. When prices are high, countries like Russia and Venezuela kick them out again. Likewise the engineers, survey ships and seismic rigs that oil firms need to find and produce new deposits are expensive right now. The costs of finding oil have, temporarily, doubled precisely because everybody wants to give them work.

Hope at the bottom of the barrel

So the oil shock will take time to abate. Some greens may welcome that, seeing three-figure oil as a way of limiting greenhouse emissions. Conservation will indeed increase. But everything high prices achieve could be done better by sensible carbon taxes. As well as curbing oil use, high prices have put tar sands in business which create far more carbon dioxide than conventional oil. Profits are going to ugly oil-fed regimes, not Western exchequers. And the wild unpredictability of prices will blunt the effect of dear oil on people's behaviour.

From this perspective, governments should speed up the adjustment—or at least stop delaying it. Half the world's people are sheltered from fuel prices by subsidies—which, perversely, have boosted demand and mostly benefited the better off. Now countries like Indonesia, Taiwan and Sri Lanka have begun to realise that they can ill afford this. Cutting fuel taxes in the rich world makes no sense either (see article). There are better ways to return cash to struggling voters.

The 1970s showed how demand and supply, inelastic in the short run, eventually give rise to conservation and new production. When all those new fields are on-stream, when the SUVs have been sold and the boilers replaced, the downcycle will take hold. By then the slow-motion oil shock could have catalysed momentous change. Right now motorists have no substitute for oil. But it is no coincidence that car companies are suddenly accelerating their plans to sell electric hybrids that are far cheaper to run than petrol or diesel cars at these prices. The first two oil shocks banished oil from power generation. How fitting if the third finished the job and began to free transport from oil's century-long monopoly.

~The Economist

Building your business wardrobe: Footwear

2008-03-07T20:57:00.000+08:00

Shoes

The right pair of shoes can bring your look together; the wrong pair can wipe out all of your best intentions. Don't blow it when it comes to your feet. And whatever shoes you choose for the office, add toe and heel taps to the soles, and use shoe trees when you're not wearing them. You'll significantly increase the shoes' life span.

Socks
Opt for over-the-calf ribbed business socks. You don't want to show any leg when seated. Don't get carried away with bold colors or patterns—keep it classic. And match the color of your socks with your suit, not your shoes.

Building Your Business Wardrobe: Shirts

2008-02-28T19:51:00.000+08:00

Choosing a Shirt Collar

Make sure you have these three collar types in your business wardrobe. And know how to pair them. Not all suits and ties go with all collars.

The Button-Down Collar

Very American. This is the least dressy collar choice; as such, you may want to look for a shirt cut from broadcloth (like the one shown here) rather than oxford cloth. You don't want a shirt that looks too casual for your business suit. This type of collar works best with medium-width ties.

The Straight-Point Collar

Always a safe choice. The collar's narrow stance means it tucks nicely into high-cut three-button suits. Good for narrow-to-skinny ties.

The Spread Collar

The most dashing, confident collar out there. Best with a medium-to-wide tie. And go for a traditional four-in-hand knot; it's okay for a bit of the tie to show around the collar. And with a smaller spread collar, you'll want to keep your tie knot on the tighter side.

Choosing a Shirt Cuff

Know these three types. Make sure they fit correctly. And have your suit sleeves tailored so they show a quarter inch of cuff.

1. Single-Button Standard (left)

The most common type of cuff, which you'll find on most moderately priced dress shirts. When fitting properly, it should reach the hinge of your wrist.

2. French (center)

The dressiest, most formal cuff choice. But you don't have to wear flashy cuff links and (after work) a tie with them. Try an open collar and more creative links.

3. Two-Button Barrel (right)

For the guy who wants a shirt with as much flair as his British- or Italian-made suit.

Building Your Business Wardrobe: Know your suits

2008-02-20T19:25:00.001+08:00

Sizes

It sounds obvious, but it's not. The most crucial element of a suit is its fit, and not many sales guys understand how a suit should fit or, more specifically, how you want yours to fit. Before you step into a dressing room, get a handle on the various components of a suit.

1) Shoulders:

The suit's shoulders should hug yours. The shoulder pads should not protrude beyond your own shoulders.

2) Chest:

You should be able to easily button the jacket without it straining. Conversely, there shouldn't be too much space between the button and your chest—no more than a fist's worth.

3) Length:

When your arms are hanging straight down, you should be able to cup your fingers under the sides of your suit jacket. However, these days, with shorter suits in style, some jackets reach only about an inch or two beyond the cuff of your suit sleeve.

Buttons

Think about the style of the suit you're buying. The first thing you need to consider is the number of buttons on the suit. This will determine a good deal about the cut and fit.

The three-button suit became the dominant look in the 1990s; it now seems to be the standard young man's choice. Instead of opting for one of those high-cut versions, look for one with a roll-over lapel—one in which you button the middle button, encouraging the soft lapel to roll over the top button.

For years the two-button suit was the go-to conservative, Capitol Hill getup. Now every fashion label imaginable is designing two-button suits, except they're making them more streamlined and modern. This cut is what's most in style right now—and it's the most versatile, looking good on almost every body type.

If you're looking for something rakish, a bit more high-style, try a one-button suit. It's not for everyone, but if you can pull it off, it's a sleek look.

Vents

Think about the vents on the back of the suit jacket.

A center vent is all-purpose; it is both modern and traditional. You can't go wrong.

Side vents are more European, a bit more suave. They also add a little more shape to your suit. A ventless jacket, by the way, is a definite no. It says you think it's still 1986.

Lapels

Think about the type of lapel.

A notch lapel—what you see on most business suits—is the standard. You're always safe with a notch lapel. Go for one on the narrow side, which will have a more modern, slimming effect.

A peak lapel is more old-school and elegant. And now it's enjoying a comeback with high-fashion and business crowds alike. It makes a statement. Just don't get them too wide—you don't want to look like a Sopranos extra.

Building the Business Wardrobe: 5 Suits you need in your closet

2008-02-17T19:01:00.001+08:00

The Five Suits You Need in Your Closet

Get these and you'll possess the building blocks of unimpeachable office style.

1. The Gray Suit

Think of it as the anchor of your business wardrobe—strong, elegant, and always appropriate, whether you're interviewing for your first job or addressing the shareholders at your last. A gray suit looks sharp and clean with a white, soft blue, or light pink shirt but is versatile enough that it'll go with just about anything. Any shade will do, but i recommend a medium gray, like the one this gentleman is wearing.

2. The Solid Navy Suit

You can't go wrong here. A navy suit is always a safe, classic choice, and it travels seamlessly from the boardroom to an evening out. It lends itself well to almost any shirt-and-tie combination, but to up the elegance factor, pair it with a crisp white shirt, a dark solid tie, and a pocket square (think Cary Grant).

3. The Solid Black Suit

It used to be that a black suit wasn't a safe choice for the office, but these days it's a staple. Just make sure yours is cut on the slim side and fits correctly. (However you feel about your job, you don't want to look like you work in a funeral home)

4. The Pin-Striped Navy Suit

A cool classic that exudes confidence. You can anchor it with a solid shirt and tie or get adventurous—like the guy here, who's mixed it with a striped shirt and a striped tie. Just keep the components within one basic-color family and make sure that the stripes of the suit, shirt, and tie aren't too close in scale; one of the patterns should be bold and the other two more muted.

5. The Khaki Cotton Suit

A business wardrobe might consist mostly of dark suits, but spring and summer give you the chance to lighten up (literally). Do it in style with a khaki cotton suit. Pair it with a solid (blue, white, or pink) shirt and a dark tie for the office, then loosen it up (e.g., lose the tie and socks) for an evening out.

Elections 2008: My Inspiration of Hope & Change we can believe in

2008-02-13T18:46:00.005+08:00

Today on February 13, the Malaysian Parliament was dissolved and its officially the election time. But when i look around and ask myself who will win my vote if i were to vote for anyone contesting or i wished had contested in elections, there is non. Its a sad fact that in Malaysia there is a dearth of characters who can inspire the hearts and minds of the people. To instill the believe that there is a hope for change, to inspire unity and present a fresh perspective on things. But nothing can beat getting the un-interested to be interested in politics. In the recent weeks, i am convinced that i have been inspired by a politician to believe that its possible for a change and that there is hope. That man is Senator Barack Obama.

We live in a turbulent time where the news on tv tells tales of sorrow and sadness and at times we question what God is doing about all this madness. But at the time where all of us are glad we are not Americans due to the undoing of the country by the Neocons of Bush and the GOP, the Americans have this God sent gift of being able to make a choice that can determine change for the better and a hope for a united America. I am sad because we do not have a man like Sen. Obama here in Malaysia but i am excited to living in a potential era of change and importantly a potential for my generation's Kennedy era. If President Kennedy inspired a generation of Americans to ask what they can do for their country, imagine what Sen. Obama can do if he goes on to be President.

My words cant convince you of his inspiration but his own words might. Please find below one of his speeches that truly inspired me.

http://www.barackobama.com/2008/01/20/remarks_of_senator_barack_obam_40.php

Yes, we can.

4 Steps to Project Confidence

2008-01-05T16:20:00.002+08:00

When discussing face-to-face interactions, confidence -- not power -- may be the ultimate aphrodisiac or relationship-builder because of the way it so smoothly puts others at ease, often without them even knowing it.

When people perceive confidence in another person, it is rarely because the person projecting confidence is deliberately drawing attention to himself by, for example, talking about himself in some fashion. Gloating is usually perceived as arrogance not confidence. Rather, a confident person feels no need to assert himself or his qualities unnecessarily; he projects confidence by directing his focus and attention outward.

This is the impression we’re going for in the following four steps on how to project confidence. These steps were designed to be used in situations that demand you to appear confident, such as during a job interview, when giving a presentation at work or when you’re simply approaching a woman.

Step 1

Spruce up your appearance

Go beyond simply being presentable. Take the necessary steps to make yourself feel like you look completely tip-top for the occasion -- and leave no room for feeling self-conscious about something, such as pit odor, that could throw you off.

Situations that demand you to project confidence are never the best times to take chances with how you look. This is an instance in which the odds are not justified by the potential payoff. Confidence does not overtly draw attention to itself, but this is precisely what would happen if you gamble on your appearance. What happens if someone asks, “Is that a new shirt?” or “Where did you get those shoes?” You answer them and expect a follow-up compliment on their part, but you don’t get it. Suddenly you’re left questioning your outfit, and it is precisely this kind of self-conscious questioning that saps you of your confidence.

Bottom line: Craft your appearance so that, once you leave home, you never think about it again and are able to fully project confidence.

Step 2

Keep your hands below "the line"

How many people project confidence while they incessantly fidget? This is the kind of superfluous behavior that draws negative attention to you.

To keep this unstrung fidgeting to a minimum, establish an invisible line somewhere around your torso and keep your hands below it. The line shouldn't be so low that you have to act unnatural; the point is to prevent yourself from touching your face, fiddling with your tie or exhibiting other evidence of nervousness.

Be careful not to become too preoccupied with remaining vigilant about this line. The point is to appear relaxed and unaffected, not rigid or self-conscious. If you typically have problems with fidgeting, practice your “line exercise” in situations that don’t require you to project confidence like around your friends. If it means folding your hands together, do it -- unless it feels emasculating.

Bottom line: Keeping your hands tied down contributes to a calm, cool and collected poise -- which can also help tie down your language so that you don’t clutter it with the likes of ”uh” and ”um.”

Step 3

Establish a focal point

Making eye contact is an excellent way to project confidence, but you might be uncomfortable doing so. When you speak or listen to another person, choose a spot on their face to focus on, somewhere near their eyes. You want to mimic looking in their eyes and appear to do it with consistency, without actually doing so. This point can be the eyebrows or between the eyes.

We all know that an inability to look someone in the eye projects a variety of negative responses -- namely distrust -- and we also know that looking someone too intensely in the eye can inspire a bit of creepiness. You want to strike a balance between being unafraid to look others square in the eye and being aware that overdoing it will garner absolutely no favors.

Bottom line: Our eyes transmit a myriad of emotions and intentions, sometimes when we’re not aware of it. The goal here is to try to control those transmissions.

Step 4

Stand by what you say

As soon as you make a declaration, internally resolve to stand by it. In other words, when the period appears at the end of your statement, cut yourself off from making any additions, amendments, corrections, or qualifying conditions. Self-assured people project confidence when their statements are said with conviction.

There is a fine line between conviction and stubbornness, so this shouldn’t be taken to mean that you will defend whatever you say to the death. There are plenty of virtues in keeping an open mind, however, few things can eliminate our efforts to project confidence like waffling on the things we say, whether through backtracking, succumbing to outside disagreements, or simply buckling to your own lack of confidence. After speaking, you do not want to start humming and hawing and appearing generally indecisive, unless your goal is to rob yourself of credibility. In that case, congratulations -- you’ve achieved that dubious goal.

Bottom line: At the very least, this step will teach you to be discreet about the kinds of things that fly out of your mouth.

by Ross Bonander , Stress Management Specialist AskMen.com
Please visit AskMen.com for more articles.

New articles for 2008

2008-01-05T16:09:00.000+08:00

2008 beckons and what a year will it be, not even one week and the Health Minister has created the story of the year with his "Menteri yang terlampau" porno DVD. Well enough of that, for this year i'll try to feature more write ups that will help to make you a better man and also not forgetting there will be more of my usual rants and bitchings to come. I'm starting off with this: The 4 Steps series. It will be a series of articles based on 4 simple, concrete steps intended to help you improve yourself as you navigate some of life's more trying moments. The first step? Start reading.

Happy New Year 2008!!!

2008-01-01T11:25:00.000+08:00

New year, new beginnings. Time to leave the past and find the future. Cheers!

My New Year's Resolutions

2007-12-31T16:42:00.000+08:00

From reflections to the resolutions of the new year. My resolutions for 2008 is pretty simple and its the 3 below:

1) Sign up with a new gym as my old one in Kajang is just too far and too tiring to go after work. I am now considering either California Fitness in Sunway Pyramid or the Fitness First next to Subang Parade. Both are fairly near my workplace in Shah Alam so its between the two. My problem now is adjusting my monthly Operational Expenditure to include this new fixed cost for 2008.

2) After signing up with a gym, go back to my original weight of 80kgs.

3) Rebuild my cardio endurance

I seriously hope to achieve all this by Euro 2008 so thats a 6 months targeted completion date rather a year. The balance 6 months is a buffer just in case i needed more time. Now, the resolutions dont sound too hard to achieve eh?

Reflections: A year end review of my 2007

2007-12-31T08:26:00.000+08:00

2007 has come and gone. Just like that, a year has whizz past again and its not suprising to hear many people saying "Huh?, one year already ar?" thanks to the "living-on-the-fast-lane" lifestyle we live by these days. So, after one year what can i say about 2007 other than its been a real good time if i really take a moment to stop and reflect on it. Below are the main highlights of my 2007:

1) Career
The first 3 quarters of the year have been tremendously stressful for me as the "project" reaches its critical moments. That coupled with political changes in the company and with a lot of uncertainty, i really felt like leaving the company and seek other opportunities elsewhere. But after a long struggle, my mentor bailed me out from the ailing IT subsidiary "Forte Tech Solutions" back to the parent company "Pharmaniaga Berhad". (The IT subsidiary i worked at in Cyberjaya for is no longer 100 percent owned by Pharmaniaga as it was sold to UEM Group earlier this year) So it was goodbye Business Development and hello Corporate Development.

Thinking about it now, i think i made the right choice of standing my ground and holding on to my mentor's promised bailed out. My current portfolio is so much challenging and provides ample opportunity to grow myself professionally. The downside of this of course i am no longer in Cyberjaya (my home for the past 6 years), i no longer get to enjoy the company of my ex-comrades at Forte Tech who themselves left for better opportunities and sacrificing my longer sleep time. But i am now being presented the biggest platform to shine and it all depends on me to make it work. My pay now maybe peanuts but i still deeply believe in job satisfaction before the money concept. Afterall, my new experience at Pharmaniaga may be the stepping stone to bigger things yet to come.

2) Performing Arts
2007 has been excellent and expensive too. Starting from the "Phantom of the Opera" the musical, countless theatre pieces at KLPAC to the "Megadeth & Black Sabbath" rock concerts down south in Singapore. I think i've made more trips to Singapore this year than to my kampung back in Kedah. Of course the expensive trips are more than compensated with the priceless views and also the break from the normal routine of either KL or PJ hangouts. Another highlight was that together with Joe, Terry and Kelvin we made a short movie titled "Going Mobile" which was submitted to the BMW Shorts Competition. It was an experience to behold and trust me when i say art movies are easy to make compared to those explosive Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Mann/(insert your favorite action movie director) productions. Making a short movie made me appreciate the summer action movies more because its just amazing how they shoot the action sequences and also the super fast editting that make Will Smith look good in Bad Boys. Now if only i have more money than i can make my dream of shooting a scene in Prague a reality...

3) Friends who got hitched
This year also marked many of my friends calendar as the year they got married. I cant believe that i've entered the age zone where people start to get married. What happened to the endless partying days guys? Hehe, anyway congratulations again to Cathlyn, Natalie, Hockage, Rajaie, Brandon and Jean on their weddings. Hahaha, looks like now i can attack their homes for Ang Pau next CNY.

4) Relationships
Aaah, last but not least the topic that everyone bitches about. Now i've always never been good at relationships and so far, it has been nothing but disappointments and heartaches. But the last time i went through any of this shit was way back in 2004 and after telling myself to stay away from this kind of things, it all gave way in August. After 3 years steering clear from trouble, trouble found me at my doorstep and its another emo roller coaster ride. But this time although the duration of it was shorter and we didnt end up together, i've learnt more about myself and also life in those short months compared to all the relationships i've been through in the past. The few things learnt:

a) Shit happens
b) All romantic pursuits end up in tears and heartache except the so-called "The One"

c) There is always a better chick that will catch your attention in the future after the current pursuit fails. Afterall strangers are just friends you've yet to know.

d) Just go with the flow and dont hold back with the feelings. If you dont tell, you'll never get to tell. I'm glad that i did this time around.

e) From time to time, you'll meet someone that will impart important lessons for you to learn so
dont worry too much about finding that someone cause they will surely come to your doorstep and wreck your day. Its just a matter of time.

That being said and done, i'm gonna steer clear from getting involved with any chicks in 2008 as i've grown sick and tired of all the emotional stress and tension. Like Uncle Bob likes to sing "No woman No cry".

Well, 2007 may have been the year of James Bond but 2008 is gonna be my year! Happy New Year!!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T13:16:00.000+08:00

The happiest time of the year is back again! yes, its Christmas time and no matter how sad and down you feel there's always a hymn or song that will get your spirits up again (mine is Angels We Have Heard on High). I know of many complaints that Christmas is now a commercialized event but if not for commercialization we might not even get the "feeling" in Malaysia at all (benefits of commercialization justified then). This year it was a good Christmas as i get to enjoy the good company of friends on parties and capping it off with the Midnite Service at the church is just great. What other better way than to remember Christmas's "Love, Peace and Hope" message than to spend it with family and friends. Now only if the nice feeling can continue well off into the new year...

Party till you get high....fever.

2007-12-19T08:30:00.000+08:00

Cough..cough. Its been a whirlwind weekend starting from my last minute trip to Jakarta to conduct a meeting with our Indonesian subsidiary to catching the superb Christmas musical "From Heaven's Throne" on Saturday at Agape Seremban (Joeboy's church). On Sunday, all my systems decided to crash and i was down with high fever (still having it at the point of writing). To make things worse, i cant take MC on Monday because i have an all important training to attend and my brain was only functioning at 35% normalcy. But i guess willpower triumphed in the end because i managed to drag my ass of the bed and to work. You know its bad when you still have to go to work no matter how sick you are but its a real tragedy when you have worked for the past 2 years and have not utilized a single MC. Darn...

Angel of Mercy

2007-12-12T16:37:00.000+08:00

Been listening to OneRepublic's songs lately. Found this particular song titled "Mercy" quite interesting. The words says it all...

Angel of mercy, how did you find me?
Where did you read my story?
Pulled from the papers, desperate and hurting
Seeking a momentary fix

All I wanted to say, all I wanted to do
Is fall apart now
All I wanted to feel, I wanted to love
It's all my fault now
A tragedy I fear

Angel of mercy, how did you find me?
How did you pick me up again?
Angel of mercy, how did you move me?
Why am I on my feet again?

I see you
Woah woah woah
I feel you
Woah woah woah

Before just the daylight
Came and I stand by
Waiting to catch the quickest plane
To fly me to nowhere
It's better than somewhere
That's where I've been and nothings changed

All I wanted to say. all I wanted to do
Is fall apart now
All I wanted to feel, I wanted to love
It's all my fault now
A tragedy I chose

Angel of mercy, how did you find me?
How did you pick me up again?
Angel of mercy, how did you move me?
Why am I on my feet again?

I see you
Woah woah woah
I feel you
Woah woah woah

I'm so lost in you
A tragedy, it seemed to be over now(x 2)

Angel of mercy, how did you find me?
How did you pick me up again?
Angel of mercy, how did you move me?
Why am I on my feet again?

I see you
Woah woah woah
I feel you
Woah woah woah (x 2)

Today & 28 days later

2007-12-04T23:13:00.000+08:00

I wonder what will happen in 28 days time?.....

Thoughts on the modern gentleman

2007-12-03T14:34:00.000+08:00

Gentleman, in modern culture the title has become to mean just about everyone, often used just as a polite form to address someone, in order not to offend. However it always seems to imply a certain degree of refinement in behavior and manners. The defining values have changed and keep changing as the society changes. For me the title has become to mean something pure, the ideal balance of zeitgeist and beauty of tradition.

How would you define a gentleman today? as opposed of the classic definition of "A gentleman is one, who without any title, bears a coat of arms, or whose ancestors have been freemen" . To what degree do you think it is something that should be manifested through someones style and taste, ones sartorial choices?

How important would conservative thinking and style be to a gentleman. Is it something that is inherited in his base values or would you consider it rather a restriction of appreciation for eccentricity?

For i believe eccentricity is something vital and personal, a kind of spark that seems to be apparent in many a noted gentleman of the past.

For me the definition of a modern gentleman will be best described by the beautiful quote by John Walter Wayland:

"The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe."

If that is not enough to ponder, digest the words below and understand the appeal of it to the definition of being a modern gentleman.

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Making mistakes is the right thing to do

2007-11-22T09:25:00.000+08:00

This, presumably imaginary, exchange, was recently quoted by Stefan Stern, the management columnist in the Financial Times and is pretty interesting to note.

"Sir, What is the secret of your success?"

"Two words"

"And, Sir, what are they?"

"Right decisions."

"And how do you make right decisions?"

"One word."

"And, What is that?"

"Experience."

"And how do you get Experience?"

"Two words"

"And, Sir, what are they?"

"Wrong decisions."

This reminds me of a quote by Will Rogers:

"Good judgement comes from experience.
And experience generally comes from bad judgement".

Concepts & Perspectives

2007-11-22T08:48:00.000+08:00

Learning. There is always something to be learnt from your experience whether its good or bad. For my open mind, i have learnt more from this 2 months than all what i have learnt in the past 5 years. I like to think of my recent adventure as a book. No matter how much you like reading the book, the time will come to read the last few pages and move on. As it is, there is one or two pages left to go before i close this book.

F****ing immobilizer!!!

2007-11-21T17:20:00.000+08:00

My car's immobilizer cooked up some problems late last night where i cant start my car and because of that my whole day today was ruined. I had to skip meetings, piss my boss off and make a few people unhappy. All because of some fracking electronics!! Its just one of those days where things can just really go wrong....damnit.

But i do notice some good things about Perodua from this incident. Apparently their Smart Assist (1 800 88 5555) service is quite good although waiting for the tow truck can take a while. They provide free towing service to the nearest Perodua workshop if your car breaks down (providing your car is less than one year old) and its pretty convinient if you want your car to be fixed by the car company itself. Now this is something which i feel is a good effort from Perodua's part. Kudos!

Staying positive

2007-11-20T15:24:00.000+08:00

Positive thinking is easier said than done. But once you get the hang of it, its like a rush of adrenaline and energy you couldnt imagine. Ok, i can. Its like a sudden power up ala steriod boost to your soul or like releasing a bankai (if you read/watch Bleach). But the question will come to beg, how long will this last? Unless you are reactor of positive energy, all this energy will burn out and God knows what will happen next. For once, i can feel normalcy back in my daily life and it feels good. I needed this break after close to 1 month of mind-frack and unstable emotions. Lessons have been learned but its gonna be some time before its published for me to understand. Things happen for a reason and nothing is random in this universe.

Cheap books anyone?

2007-11-19T17:31:00.000+08:00

Now growing up in environment where your dad is academician you just cant run away from having the reading habit. Its a good and stimulating habit to have and i must say it feeds the imagination and ripples the idle mind. So after being told about the Penguin Books warehouse sale in PJ by Terry, i decided to check it out yesterday evening. The sale was really a warehouse sale as there are stacks and stacks of books randomly bundled for your browsing and grabbing. Many people had empty book cartons to carry their books and i have to say that its pretty easy to lose yourself in it. Can you imagine the classics (Verne, Shakespeare, Twain) going for RM5? How bout Carly Fiorina's memoir 'Tough Choices' at RM22? Mind you, Joe bought the paperback version for RM48. Good deal eh? But with some restraint and strict selection criteria i managed to restrict myself to only 9 books which amounted to less than RM100. But some aunties were like buying 20 books and people here and there had more books than me. Its like the bookworms have gone insane and having a feast at the helpless books before them. Too bad i dont have pictures to show.

Eat, Drink & Be Merry Q4 2007

2007-11-17T17:15:00.000+08:00

The quarterly piss-up session has always been the event most of us ex- Solutions staff looked foward to as we get to dine our hearts out, drink good wine and of course get wasted with the good stuff. All of these in the comforts of a private golf club in Kelana Jaya. That means we can get really wasted without pissing other people off..hehehe. Anyway, this time around our poison was the Glenlivet 15 years.

The Glenlivet 15 years old French Oak Reserve is beautifully structured with an interplay of fruits and spices. The aroma is intense and sweet with hints of citrus fruit. A full palate contrasts notes of ripe mango with cinnamon and white pepper. This leads into a long and creamy finish balanced by a teasing, spicy dryness conferred by selective maturation in new French Oak casks. Beautiful.....all i know is that i got wasted.

Perseverance

2007-11-16T10:30:00.000+08:00

Armani's Code

2007-11-13T18:57:00.000+08:00

Here i have an interesting article from Giorgio Armani in which he reveals his 21 rules for achieving style, self esteem and success. The tips do work and i have been following one or two of his rules for some time now.

1 A cheap pair of shoes is a false economy. Never skimp on staples: this is the basis of your wardrobe.

2 The work/life balance is the key to happiness for every man. I have sacrificed my life to my work, and if I could start again I would do things differently.

3 Black and dark navy are the most slimming colours. You can afford to be more adventurous with form and texture if you stick to this colour palette.

4 Never try too hard with what you wear: the most stylish men are those who look as if they are making the least effort. Ultimately fashion is about personal expression, and I don’t think anything can be called a fashion disaster if the wearer is being true to himself.

5 If you play sports intensively you will develop muscles in unusual places. Then you may have to consider bespoke tailoring. I recently started dressing the Chelsea football players and those guys are well built.

6 People say that I look 20 years younger than I am and ask, what’s my secret? Partly it’s genetic. My mother died at 90 but seemed like a woman of 65 at the time. I hope to be the same. But it’s also down to self-discipline: don’t go to bed too late; don’t drink too much; don’t smoke. And really understand and manage your inner self.

7 You can’t always get what you want, as Mick Jagger sang. Yes, I wanted to be tall and to have an important nose. Accept the hand you have been dealt and make the best of it. Don’t waste your life trying to change things you cannot change, and don’t dwell on them.

8 To look sexy as a man is a matter of confidence. It is a state of mind as much as a state of body.

9 Up to the age of 50 I didn’t think about my physique, then a friend told me to look out. Now I do an hour’s gym a day. Exercise lifts your mood and keeps you sharp. It helps you to focus and to feel comfortable in your own skin.

10 Some male role models endure. For me, Cary Grant is still the man – he managed to look good in a suit even while running across a field being chased by a plane. My friend George Clooney has that quality, too – he looks effortlessly smart whatever he is wearing. I’m flattered that he chooses to wear my designs.

11 The jacket is the basis of the male wardrobe. Always make sure that it is well made, fits properly and is lightly constructed so that it makes you feel comfortable and confident. Once a good jacket is in place, the rest of the outfit follows.

12 Good clothes can help to make you feel confident and improve your performance. I had a call from a friend who had bought the rugby team that he supported as a child. They were doing badly. He asked me to dress them, and I agreed. That friend was Russell Crowe and now his Australian rugby league team, the Rabbitohs, are winning again.

13 A reputation can be like handcuffs. I’m supposed to be a minimalist, so people complain if I do anything else. It’s best to keep them guessing.

14 You know more than you think, and you can do more than you know. When my business partner died in 1985, some people thought that I’d close the firm. Instead I learnt how to do his job. Never underestimate your inner strength.

15 Hollywood black-tie is the ubiquitous uniform for any evening occasion: black suit, white shirt and black tie. It’s a cliché but it’s true: every man looks good in black-tie.

16 Choose fabrics that are neutral in colour and not too ostentatiously patterned – that way they will have a longer lifespan (from a fashion perspective).

17 Today it’s increasingly the accessories that make the man, so invest in good shoes, belts, bags, ties and the like, and you’ll be able to reinvent your outfits over and over again. Be aware of what colours you wear and buy accordingly, but always remember that you can wear either black or brown with grey. Your watch is one of the most important things you will buy; it says a lot about you as a man. I wear my own Borgo 21 watch, which I treasure.

18 A well-chosen fragrance can become a distinguishing characteristic. It is the first thing that people sense when you enter a room and the last thing as you leave.

19 You should have the courage of your convictions. When I first experimented with deconstructing tailoring, it went against the prevailing ideas and methods. But I simply wanted to make clothes that allowed you to look smart and be comfortable at the same time. In the end, my ideas caught on. Now men demand comfort from their tailored clothes.

20 I am happy to see that today there is a desire among men to be more elegant again. Grunge was not a good moment for me.

Elegance is the key, I believe, to achieving a timeless look – something that does not date, and does not date you. I attribute my success to remaining true to this philosophy. To me, style is more important than transient trends.

21 No matter how hard I try, I will never persuade Sam Jackson to appear without a hat!

- Giorgio Armani

Source: The Times UK

Warning: This Blog is Emo

2007-11-13T18:44:00.001+08:00

Its amazing that emo is wide spread among the ex-mmu-ians blogosphere that even my good friends cant believe it that i am one of those emo-infected ones. Hehehe, i'm sorry guys but i really cant help it and i did in a way designed this blog to be my emo getaway. Well, at times (or shall i say most of the time) i need an avenue to bitch about my misreable life and scream with my mouth shut. The reason why this blog resurfaced again is because i have been going through one of the toughest emotional moments of Fall/Winter 2007.

As a good news, i do have another secret blog where i divulge all my dirty little secrets and true feelings. Well, i dont use my name there but the title is dedicated to my girl of the moment. I hope to look back at the garbage i wrote there next time and laugh my ass off on my own moment of stupidity. I have decided to divert all emo posts there (especially the wannabe poetry ones) but i shall keep the lyrics postings here. Since i have this feedback i will try to improve on it. For goodness sake, take some time and leave a feedback once a while ( if you happen to have time to read this shit kekeke).

Its all political.....

2007-11-12T10:38:00.000+08:00

What a weekend it has been. All the talk of politics and the saturday yellow marches in KL to handover some memo to the Agong over some election bull crap. I got some friends who are quite esthusiastic about all this and also plenty of friends who couldnt give a flying phuck about it. Well, i am apathetic about politics but not blind and deaf about what is going on to the country. Face it guys, this country is doomed the moment Mahathir stepped down and there is nothing we can do about it. Forget about your "i want to make a change" bullcrap because you cant make a change without being in the position of power. Go spend your time and resources on generating wealth instead. I for one dun give a shit about the political going ons because the world in general is heading for a global meltdown. I got my own problems to worry about more than all of this....

I still miss you

2007-11-07T08:37:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning and i miss you
Though the strong emotions are gone
I felt a tinge of sadness as i think of you
Afterall you were my morning sun and smile

All this while i thought its my emotions
A temporary feeling which is superficial
But when I am calm and clear
I realized i missed you dear

* Its a price to pay when you allow oneself to abandon pride to fall in love. Having thrown caution into the wind, I allowed myself to be heart broken but i learnt how is it like to be alive again. I wonder what the wind will bring me next?

39 ways to live, not just exist

2007-11-06T16:26:00.000+08:00

I leeched the following article from *Mysh-ism*. Its an interesting read and have some good points which at times we take for granted and i thought it will be great to have something positive in my emo blog. Thanks Michelle!

"The proper function of man is to live - not to exist." -- Jack London

Too often we go through life on autopilot, going through the motions and having each day pass like the one before it.That's fine, and comfortable, until you have gone through another year without having done anything, without having really lived life.That's fine, until you have reached old age and look back on life with regrets.That's fine, until you see your kids go off to college and realize that you missed their childhoods.It's not fine. If you want to truly live life, to really experience it, to enjoy it to the fullest, instead of barely scraping by and only living a life of existence, then you need to find ways to break free from the mold and drink from life.What follows is just a list of ideas, obvious ones mostly that you could have thought of yourself, but that I hope are useful reminders. We all need reminders sometimes. If you find this useful, print it out, and start using it. Today.

Love. Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone -- it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.

Get outside. Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.

Savor food. Don't just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.

Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.

Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you've liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?

Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).

Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.

Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It's worth it.

Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don't know what to do? Read further.

Pull away from Internet. You're reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.

Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.

Rediscover what's important. Take an hour and make a list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.

Eliminate everything else. What's going on in your life that's not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what's important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that's not on your short list, or minimizing it.
Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll love it. And life will be more alive.

Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!

Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.

Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.

Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.

When you suffer, suffer. Life isn't all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life -- really feel the pain. And when you're done, move on, and find joy.

Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail's pace.

Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.

Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying.

Play with children. Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.

Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society -- take advantage of their existence while they're still around.

Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still -- not because you're so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve -- if only because the process of improvement is life itself.

Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.

Take mini-retirements. Don't leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.

Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.

Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.

Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.

Stop reading magazines. They're basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.

Break out from ruts. Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.

Stop watching the news. It's depressing and useless. If you're a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven't watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn't hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.

Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it.
Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It's a bad habit to try to control others -- it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.

Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.

Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn't an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful.

Try something new, every week. Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.

Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.
- Leo Babauta

When you stray off the path

2007-11-03T13:49:00.000+08:00

Since the start of my emotional problems a few weeks ago, i have been blaming myself for my predicament and rued the choices i have made and at times wondering whether i have made the right ones and truthfully i might have regretted a few if i keep thinking about it too much. I put too much pressure on myself to get out of this rut and more often than not i always found a dead end. I was suffering everyday because i choose to be blind and to be ignorant to the one thing that have always kept me afloat when ever there is a storm and that is faith.

I felt so ashamed that i turned my back on Him and for not having my faith in His plans for me. I thought i knew better and even thought i can make it on my own. I am wrong, i cant. I realized this when i stumble upon a phrase in the net which goes like this:

"We can walk through the darkest trials when we walk with God in the light"

I am guilty for losing my faith and for choosing to suffer alone. I forgot that i have Him to release my burden to and to leave everything in His hands to take care of. We are not equipped to handle all the problems we face, but God is. That’s why He told us to give them all to Him—to “cast your burden on the Lord” (Ps. 55:22). I pray that i find His strength within me to get through this trial i am facing and that my heart be filled with grace.

100 Plus and Panadols

2007-10-31T17:46:00.000+08:00

I feel so misreable today. Being sick is one of those things i really hate as my brain stops to function at the optimum level and my head is buzzing and pounding like there is a crazy Pink Floyd concert going on inside there.

Speaking of concerts, there is nothing that beats the feeling you get when you are on stage and performing (that's was my pre-corporate days). I have to admit it that i love the attention and i unashamedly seek it. Yes, i have that rock star ego thingy...i think. But anyhow, one of the things that i have told myself i will do before 2007 closes is to finish up the songs i wrote and get them recorded. At the moment, i managed to get Terry (bass) involved although he is busy with work and is currently persuading Joeboy (drums) as well. I am in the process of brushing up my guitar skills so that i can play well enough for the recording later on. I plan to record the songs live but one of my guitar mentor told me that i can do a layered recording using his effects machine at his home. Hmm...that sounds great and i can also add piano music to it eh? But time is running short and everyone is so caught up with their work so how am i gonna manage this? I dont know at the moment cause i so cant think but i'll find a way.

My old friend the optimist

2007-10-30T11:38:00.000+08:00

I want to rise today and change my world
But the world wont change if i dont myself
There are so many things to re-arrange
Starting with what i think and feel

I want to count my blessings
I want to hear the music
To change this world
Before it changes me

I want to throw it all away
Pieces of the old broken me
What use for relics of sadness
If not to shackle your heart

I want to laugh big and smile
I want to lift off and dream
To change this world
Before it changes me

I want to keep a happy memory
To serve as a guide to me
So many new things to try
Too few to tell my stories to

I rise today to change the world
Before the world changes me
The skies are blue with no limits
Its the time for the optimist :)

My mad season

2007-10-29T18:23:00.000+08:00

The fall of 2007 have been a mad season for me where for some unknown reason, i lost my plot and fell for this girl. I cant help to feel sheepish and embarrased when i asked myself "what was i thinking when i did what i did to start this whole episode". I normally do not i repeat do not simply lose my senses over a girl and over the other flings in the past i did not get mindf**ked like i did this time.

But when i looked back and analyzed it, i went through a similar experience in 2001 when i fell head over heels for someone and got burn pretty badly (close to emotional annhilation). Both these cases are the only times which i got mindf**cked and i cant help to compare both situations. Both of them have a unique personality which get guys go crazy over them, both have somewhat a mysterious aura about them and most of all the depth in overall character. Although there are many differences that makes the two of them seperate individuals, my kryptonite has always been girls who are different than others and have unique personalities which borders weirdness at times.

I also realised that in both cases, the girl always have a positive side effect on me which kinda makes me wanna change myself for the better. The last experience played a big part in my self discovery and also shaped the personality which most of you know me for during MMU days. Then my career came and other shits (heartbreaks and all) happened and along the way i kinda went to a slump where i was kinda lost steam and enthusiasm on life in general. I was more like on autopilot whenever i get off work where life is all about the internets and teh tariks. My professional persona was not affected by all of this but the "fun loving highly fuelled" me was suffering and in fact burning out. Its not that i dont have anything to do or lack of homies to hang out with, its just there is hole in me that all. Somehow, i was pretty suprised to see myself to fall for E.L as i never thought she was the person she is but after getting to know her slightly better, i realised there is more than meets the eye and the next thing i know, i fell deeply for her.

Yeps, i repeated the same mistake twice but this time i saw it coming and did everything i dint do the last time and said all the things i wanted to say before it was too late. I have no regrets of over what i have did but i have to admit i could have done better but too bad i aint Marty McFly. For once in my life, i thought i have found my everything in her and i would run to the ends of the earth to make her happy but when things are too good to be true, its just that. Hope fails, dreams vanish and life goes on. Its gonna take me sometime before i can truly wear off my disappointments but she will always have special place in here my heart. Fall of 2007 have been truly memorable where i was found and lost again, happy and sad all jumbled up like a Timbaland remix.

Songwriter's block

2007-10-24T10:34:00.000+08:00

One of the ways i express myself is to write songs and many of those are crap honestly speaking. But from the craps i wrote one or two manage to find themselves a melody over a chord progression and hopefully i will be able to record a demo single with three tracks before Christmas this year. I've been heavily influenced by Keane and Radiohead lately but since i cant find the melody and words i have been looking for, i decided to do what self respecting song writers and musicians do: listen to other genres be it pop, country, dance, hip hop, yadda yadda. One of the songs i heard this morning over the radio (MyFM) and got stuck in my head is 不能说的秘密 (Secrets I cant Tell) by Jay Chou. The mood was just right with the rainy morning and the slow traffic. The words suits my current emo but not hardcore enough to distrupt anything so i decide to feature the lyrics below to let you know what i mean. Sometimes i wish i can write songs like this...damn.

不能说的秘密 (Secrets I cant Tell)

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
leng ka fei li kai le bei dian
As the cold coffee leaves the coaster

我忍住的情绪在很后面
wo ren zhu de qing xu zai hen hou mian
I desperately tried to hold my emotions far behind

拼命想挽回的从前
pin ming xiang wan hui de cong qian
Fighting hard to restore the past

在我脸上依旧清晰可见
zai wo lian shang yi jiu qing xi ke jian
On my face you can still see ever so clearly

最美的不是下雨天
zui mei de bu shi xia yu tian
that rainy day wasn’t the most beautiful

是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh~~
shi ceng yu ni duo guo yu de wu yan
It’s the shelters that I once shared with you in the rain

回忆的画面
hui yi de hua mian
The pictures in my memory

在荡着秋千梦开始不甜
zai dang zhe qiu qian meng kai shi bu tian
While on the swings dreams become less sweet

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zou geng yuan
You told me that by gradually letting go I’d be able to go further

又何必去改变已错过的时间
you he bi qu gai bian ni cuo guo de shi jian
and why bother changing the times that you’ve missed

你用你的指尖阻止我说再见
ni yong ni de zhi jian zu zhi wo shuo zai jian
you used your fingertip to stop me from saying goodbye

想像你在身边在完全失去之前
xiang xiang ni zai shen bian zai wan quan shi qu zhi qian
imaging you being by my side before you completely disappear

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zou geng yuan
You told me that by gradually letting go I’d be able to go further

或许命运的签只让我们遇见
huo xu ming yun de qian zhi rang wo men yu jian
Perhaps life’s destiny only allowed us to meet

只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
zhi rang wo men xiang lian zhe yi ji de qiu tian
(and) Only allowed us to love this one season of fall

飘落後才发现这幸福的碎片
piao luo hou cai fa xian zhe xing fu de sui pian
only after the pieces drifted down that I realized these are the pieces of happiness

要我怎麼捡
yao wo zen me jian
How do i pick them up

Not so spotless mind

2007-10-23T12:29:00.000+08:00

Just when i was about to enjoy some peace in my mind and have a normal semblence of life, something have to just come and spoil it. While driving home i was listening to my usual Lite.fm Eighties evening (where they play funky songs from 80's where synthesizers were heavily used and sometimes is just plain annoying) when suddenly they have to feature Richard Marx. I thought ok lar a bit of "Endless Summer" or "Right Here Waiting" wont hurt but NOO..they decide to play a song i have not heard on the radio for ages which is "Hold On to the Night". Its basically a song about being in a emotional dilemma and words of the lyrics just hits you like an Al-Qaeda suicide bomber (totally suprising and right to the heart). Now i'm not gonna put those words here cause you need the music and the singing to complete the damage (hints: go search you tube, there is a live performance of that song) but the damage was unexpected. I was like in emo mode the rest of the evening. Better still out of the blue some friend of mine which normally dont buzz me online went and ask how come my status is emo ( its being like dat for ages lar...u dont notice only). So i told him the summary of it and he gave me the same advice most people giving...continue the pursuit. But my question is this, i do want to chase but what if she has stopped running long time ago. A million dollar question that is.

Gulp thy coffee

2007-10-22T09:39:00.000+08:00

Well, i am writing this right now in my office with my hot black coffee smelling good beside me. Its been raining since i woke up early this morning and getting to work seems to be a little adventure by itself. I have had a weekend of intense reflection as well as resolution regarding my sad current affairs. After going through a stage of denial, anger at myself, i am now beginning to enter a stage of acceptence which although might be to early to say today but i would like to think i am slowly crawling out of the moment which i am stuck on.

Although i feel very much towards her and would defintely stuck it out for her but looking at situation, i think it is safer for me to lower my expectations and hope that things would turn out right not only for me but also for her. In the end of the day, she still means a lot to me and i do owe it to her for some of the positive changes in my life as well for giving me back the sense of direction in my life which i have lost for quite some time. For this, i will try to move on with my life positively and silently hope that i'm not written off when she is ready the next time. Well, my coffee is getting cold now.

All you can bring is all that you cant leave behind

2007-10-19T08:34:00.000+08:00

Comedies sometimes are the best escape you can find from your troubled heart. Watching Chuck & Larry last night made me feel good but at the same time the parts on relationships made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I think this is because the person whom I am trying to forget for the past one week is just sitting two seats away from me. It’s the first time I am seeing her after what happened early last week and for the first time I am finding that’s its very difficult to pretend that nothing has happened when you realize that deep inside you the feelings still linger and you actually miss that person so much. No matter how much I try to not to think about her the whole day or week, it still haunts me once a while. Its hurts when you cant show how much you care or tell her how much you miss her. I guess she had a point when she told me that missing someone can lead to suffering.....

My long road to ruin

2007-10-18T14:42:00.001+08:00

I have been thinking about this for quite some time now. Is it to pursue something that might be futile although there are some chances of success? Have i got anything to lose sticking it out? Is it worth it? You know what, even if there is a 5 % chance i will still proceed and i have nothing to lose anyways. For all this is worth, it is more than worth my time and effort to aim for something that means more than anything to me. I am now drawing strength from a song by the foo fighters taken from their new album:

Long Road to Ruin

Here now don't make a sound
Say hey have you heard the news today
One flag was taken down
To raise another in its place
A heavy cross you bear
A stubborn heart remains unchanged
No harm, no life, no love
No stranger singing in your name

Maybe the season
The colors change in the valley skies
Dear God I've sealed my fate
Running through hell
Heaven can wait

Long road to ruin
There in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow
No dead end in sight

Let's say we take this town
No king or queen of any state
Get up to shut it down
Open the streets and raise the gates
I know a wall to scale
I know a field without a name
Head on without a care
Before it's way too late

Maybe the season
The colors change in the valley skies
Oh God I've sealed my fate
Running through hell
Heaven can wait

Long road to ruin
There in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow
No dead end in sight

Long road to ruin
There in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow
No dead end in sight

For every piece to fall in place
Forever gone without a trace
Your horizon takes its shape
No turning back, don't turn that page

Come now, I'm leaving here tonight
Come now, let's leave it all behind
Is that the price you pay
Running through hell
Heaven can wait

Long road to ruin
There in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow
No dead ends

P.S: Dont forget to support Dave and the Foos by buying their new album Echoes, Silence,Patience & Grace available in stores & iTunes now!!

To Space and Beyond

2007-10-16T21:54:00.000+08:00

I just realized that i have been ignoring this blog of mine after my image hosting site screwed me up and also due to my lack of time and commitment to writing. Actually i do write but i do not publish it as it contains details which i do not want to share as well as it has sensitive information.

I am writing again on this month of October 07 where Malaysia now has a Spaceman and i cant understand what the fuss is about when any Tom, Dick and Harry can go to space with USD 30 million like Dennis Tito. Oh well, thats another story altogether. The main reason i am writing now is because its like therapy for me when i am bothered by something or cant find a solution to my problems.

Problem: I am a lalang swaying left and right without any direction.WTF happened and why?
Solution: Even lalang grows towards the sun despite swaying left and right. Find the sun and i shall i get my answer.

I have been exposed to the cosmic rays.......nuff said.

Minutes to Midnight

2007-05-15T22:39:00.000+08:00

Minutes to Midnight
Out in Record Stores Now

New Year's Day

2007-01-01T02:01:00.000+08:00

All is quiet on New Year's Day
A world in white gets underway
I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes on New Year's Day
On New Year's Day

I will be with you again

Under a blood red sky
A crowd has gathered in black and white
Arms entwined, the chosen few
The newspapers says, says
Say it's true it's true...
And we can break through
Though torn in two
We can be oneI...

I will begin again

Oh..
Maybe the time is right
Oh...
maybe tonight...

I will be with you again
And so we're told this is the golden age
And gold is the reason for the wars we wage
Though I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes
On New Year's Day
On New Year's Day
- U2 (New Year's Day)

Its over 2006 and new year begins in 2007. After listening to that song by U2, i cant help but to listen to a newer song by them Miss Sarajevo and reflect on what kind of world we are living in.
Something is wrong with the world today and some of us must be wondering why nothing is done to correct the wrongs and perhaps question whether we have been abandoned by the power above. Maybe, but i think we just need love. The world has forgotten to love and this has caused violence and the chain reactions wont end unless we all have the will to forgive and love. Its the universal language of the world and maybe the hope of a better future. Love, Peace and Empathy.

Merry Christmas!!!

2006-12-25T15:06:00.000+08:00

Yahoo!!! its Christmas and its the best time of the year!!! its been a good christmas so far and all i can say is thank God for the abundance of food we had and i hope and pray we all continue to enjoy such blessings. Its also been great to meet up with some old friends which i havent met in ages as well chilling out with my regular friends.Wish y'all many blessings during this season, Cheers!!!

P.S: In view of those affected by the floods down south and have their Christmas holidays wrecked, lets all pray and contribute to their rebuilding. If New Orleans can, we can too.

End of the road for Cyberjaya

2006-12-11T21:53:00.000+08:00

"The Klang Valley will be turned into a Multimedia Super Corridor (MSC) in stages, said Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. He said details of the plan were being worked out and more cybercentres would be rolled out quickly in the Klang Valley." - The Star Online Friday 8/12/2006

Does this mean Cyberjaya has come to its end as town?With no reason to move here will mean that it will stop developing and might end up a dead town. You can say anything you like bout Cyberjaya but its my town and i love it the way it is. I have wrote bout my feelings on Cyberjaya here before but the prospect of it really dying saddens me.I do really feel attached to this town after all the fun of stealing banners at nite, walkiing from MMU to streetmall or even to Cyberview Lodge for that game of pool and jug of beer. Its a town where you know the faces (used to be exclusively MMU)and lastly not least its my home since Dec 2001.

Tommorow Never Dies

2006-12-10T23:20:00.000+08:00

Its been a whirlwind 2 weeks for me and it doesnt seem its gonna end soon (i hope it ends by Xmas tho). Imagine taking over the process of managing a RM20 million online database project for the Malaysian Government and at the same time managing multiple tasks invloving other projects (tasks include meetings, preparing proposals,price negotiation,etc) and also doing my networking (attending meetings and dinners)which shall i say tiring. To sum up what have been going on in my company:

1) My company has been bought over by UEM World
2) Colleagues leaving (either back to parent company or somewhere in Cyberjaya)
3) In view of the previous point, guess who is the one elavated to the coveted status? me?

Its slowly taking a toll on me but i guess i'll take my toll another day. Anyways, you know my name and i only live once.

Happy St. Andrew's Day

2006-11-30T00:02:00.000+08:00

Today is St. Andrew's day which is also happens to be Scotland's National Day (St.Andrew is our patron saint). Although it is moderately celebrated back in Scotland, there are calls to make it a celebration worthy for a saint plus a few days back the Scottish parliament have voted to make St. Andrews Day a new national holiday . Anyways, here in KL whats St. Andrew's Day without whisky eh? God Bless Scotland & Cheers!

Some facts about our saint:

SAINT Andrew and his brother Simon Peter were both fishermen before joining Jesus to become disciples and "fishers of men" (Matthew 4:19). After the crucifixion, St Andrew spent his life spreading the word of God through Asia Minor, Macedonia and southern Russia. It is believed that he was martyred in 70AD at Patras, Greece, by the Roman governor who ordered him to be crucified on an X-shaped cross known as a Saltire Cross. His bones were removed in the 4th century by Emperor Constantine and taken to his new capital Constantinople.

Legend has it that St Rule, an Irish assistant of St Columba, was told by an angel to remove St Andrew's remains to the "end of the earth" for safekeeping. St Rule did as directed and took a tooth, an arm bone, a kneecap and some fingers from the tomb. St Rule was shipwrecked off the east coast of Scotland near a Pictish settlement at what is now St Andrews and where he took up residence.

The rest of the saint's bones remained in Constantinople until they were stolen in around 1210. These remains are now in Amalfi in southern Italy

While the story is speculative, what is a matter of record is that by the mid-8th century a religious centre was founded in the area of St Andrews by either St Rule himself or the Pictish King Ungus (731–761). Another version of how the bones came to Scotland has Acca, Bishop of Hexham, a renowned collector of relics, visiting this religious community and bringing the bones with him in around 732.

The bones were placed in a specially constructed chapel until 1160 when they were removed to the newly built Cathedral of St Andrews. Medieval pilgrims travelled to view the relics here and it soon became established as the religious capital of Scotland.

During the Reformation, on 14 June 1559, the interior of the cathedral and, it is thought, the relics were destroyed by a mob led by the Lords of the Congregation who - fired by the teachings of John Knox - destroyed many Roman Catholic buildings in Scotland.

Scotland was to remain without relics of the saint for many years. Then in 1879 the Archbishop of Amalfi sent a small piece of St Andrew's shoulder blade to the Roman Catholic Church in Scotland. In 1969 Pope Paul VI gifted more relics of the saint to Scotland with the words "Saint Peter gives you his brother." These can be seen at St Mary's Roman Catholic Cathedral in Edinburgh.

St Andrew is the patron saint of Greece, Russia and Scotland. As protector or guardian he is also invoked against gout and a stiff neck.

- source from The Scotsman

Sad State of Affairs

2006-11-18T14:46:00.000+08:00

We live in interesting times where the world has lost its mind and it seems like the epidemic has reached our shores. This entry will an unprecedented event as i never blogged about politics before this and i think things have reached a level even an ignorant bum like me got something to say.

I have lived in this country for most of my life and grew up loving it till lately where i realised it aint so sweet anymore and recent political affairs/foreign news reports/comment from an Iranian friend just confirmed my fears that indeed this country is 'tearing apart' (to quote a good friend's term) and there is nothing we can about it. The neo-con politicians from the party that represents the country majority ethnic group are busy talking & arguing about issues of NEP,other races are taking away our wealth, bla,bla,bla without caution or care that these viewpoints actually spook the minorities in the country and of course the foreigners who dont or little understand how Malaysia works. Now, firstly i think the NEP is relevant still and should stay in place but what rattles me is that the policy had been hijacked to benefit a few and most of these few are politicians themselves. The policy had been abused where you see it actually encroach the rights of its minorities and the minorities are not happy anymore.

Of course they wont shout it out like the majority but they will retaliate in a quiet & subtle manner. The key to this retaliation is the economic power the minorities still have and the most powerful weapon of all, education. The country's brightest people have already left and will continue to drain out and the business community will put their money somewhere safer like Singapore or Hong Kong. It will make Malaysia an uncompetitive nation in 15 years time and it will be too late then to reverse the damage.

The short-sightedness of the country's rulers will see Malaysia slip further economically and the likes of Thailand & Vietnam overtake us as the prefered foriegn investment destination. I can also see that more & more minorities are planning or already migrating to other countries and this means the brightest and smartest of the Malaysian minority will contribute to the likes of Australia & Singapore who appreciate their contribution. All these will slowly but surely be felt and when it does, its too late to reverse the damage.

I personally dont see any future for this country anymore unless a miracle happens and its sad that being called a Malaysian for many means nothing anymore. All i can say is God bless Malaysia.

from
Don, a Scottish born Siamese who has been residing in Malaysia for the past 20 years.

"May God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Baroque and Roll @ Singapore

2006-11-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

Train tickets: RM 70
Concert Tickets: SGD75
Hotel: SGD 60
Getting deaf while watching Yngwie Malmsteen live in front of you: Priceless

Yea man, i caught Yngwie (pronounced Ing-way) Malmsteen live in concerto at Fort Canning Park in Singapore last Thursday nite. With the Great Wall of Marshalls (guitar amps), it dawned to me that this is not going to a symphony in the park. How true that was as the maestro wasted no time in starting the concert with the opening number The Rising Force and we rocked all the way rock kapak style (long hair, tight leather pants, guitar shredding) for 2 hours and its an experience to behold to watch one of my guitar idols live in action with his famed lighting speed adagio solos. Imagine this guy actually made Bach sound good with electric guitars and heavy drums plus some quick fingers over the fretboard (Vanessa Mae eat your heart out!!). This is Neo-Classical at its best!! I got some pictures below to show to you all, enjoy!!

P.S: Despite the great time we had, there were some grouses that nite concerning the sound setting (amps dont sound right & too much echo) and the promised meet and greet session didnt materialize at the last minute (we were waiting the hotel till some fellow fan told us it has been cancelled). Of course more pictures will be uploaded once i get my hands on them.

Goodbye Boys

2006-10-28T23:36:00.000+08:00

Its a first time that i have watched one local after another (the other was Rain Dogs which i caught last night). This movie by Bernard Chauly (the director of Goal&Gincu) is about 8 boy scouts from Ipoh taking a 5 days 100km journey as a requirement for the King Scout badge is a typical coming of age teenage boys movie but with a local flavour. Although the movie is set in 1990, it stayed clear of being nolstagic which i feel is nice.At this point i could share more thoughts about the technical aspects of the movie or even talk more about the characters but i shall leave that to Joe (if he blogs about this movie lar). What i want to share is that sometimes during the movie i cant help but to think back on my own days as a scout and a uniformed body member. Watching some scenes reminded me of my own experiences and moments cutting wood in the forest near my shcool, camping and eating over campfire just came into my mind. After finishing the movie, i cant help but look back at my old school time photographs and remembering the days how simplicity is at the end and complexity has just begun. I can go on and on talking about those days but i think its better for you to catch this good piece of film and see if it can invoke some good memories of your own school days.

All the free time

2006-10-25T20:54:00.000+08:00

Long holidays normally pose a problem to me in terms of how am i gonna spend all that time. Of course its not much left after discounting doing your chores, sleeping and going out to hang out with friends. Well, over the last few days i managed to cover these activities:

Eat
What can i say? its the festive time of Deepavali and Hari Raya and glorious food. Had a good outing at a good friend's house in Klang for Deepavali and as with previous years, the mutton curry still rocks! The adventure continues on the 1st day of Raya yesterday where i was treated to some good Johor style cooking at a colleagues house for lunch and one more time in the evening at an old friend's home. Good food and good times, that's what Malaysia is all about man and no one can take that away....unless the chef decides to move elsewhere.

Sights
Lets start with the stuff i watched over the few days. After reading bout it in Joe's blog, i went and bought 'The Devil wears Prada' from the friendly neighboorhood DVD shop in Seapark. Its a good watch and although it may look like a chick flick it isnt. Its a good movie and Merryl Streep gets my applaud for her excellent performance here. After watching the movie, i actually thought about my work and where i want to be in my career and it seems to me that when you are at the top, life is boring and you are alone.Hmm.Anyways, check out Joe's entry on that movie for more or lurk up at IMDB.com

P.S: 'City of Blinding Lights' never sounded so good before...hehehe

Sounds
I also managed to watch G3 Live in Tokyo: Satriani/Vai/Petrucci on DVD. Now this was a recording of the G3 concert last year in Tokyo that featured ny favorite guitarist Steve Vai and his buddy Joe Satriani along with John Petrucci of the DreamTheater fame. Its a godd concert DVD and i think i liked this more than the previous one featuring Malmsteen as the guest. Well, below is how the cover of the DVD looks like and you can get it from Amazon.com.

Read
I did also read a book. Yes i do read and even though i dont get to do it often i love reading. This time around a friend of mine whom i catch up with over the weekend recommended me to read a book by Paulo Coelho titled The Alchemist. Now i have heard about this book for a long time now since i was in shcool and it never occured to me to read this book until that friend told me the book is good as the story is inspiring and yada yada. So i bought it at Borders (it aint cheap at Rm 33 for a book less than 200 pages. Like they said, 'Dont judge a book by its cover' and to my suprise the book is really an interesting read! Its a story about a boy who dreamed about a hidden treasure and his adventures from Tangiers to Egypt to search for the treasures. It deals with the topic of how one finds his destiny or purpose in life and what can be learned from your journeys and the observation of nature.Its fun book to read and i recommend you to read it as well. Its quite short and i finished the book in a few hours (suitable for a 4 hour flight). Below is how the book looks like and again you can buy from Amazon.com or your local bookstore near you.

Talk
And finally of course, talking. Its what i do best and i spend some quality time with some friends doing just that over coffee/tea/juices. The topics can range from Rm30 shoes in a pasar malam, life at work, cars, chicks and money but the thing is that time was well spent catching up with one another in this fast moving life of ours. I feel good doing so.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

2006-10-24T03:42:00.000+08:00

Salam Aidilfitri diucapkan kepada semua member-member Muslimin & Musliman!! Mohon maaf zahir & batin!! Tidak lupa juga untuk mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya kepada keluarga pakcik ku di Kedah. Lets all have a very good and blessed Hari Raya.

Happy Deepavali!!

2006-10-21T14:02:00.000+08:00

Happy Deepavali to all of my friends that are celebrating!!! the festival of light is here again with good memories of mutton curries and of course hanging out with friends. Well, i'm looking foward to these memories again tommorrow at a friend's house.

My two years of working (in Technicolor)

2006-10-18T00:04:00.000+08:00

Yeps, October 18 marks my two years of actual work after graduating from MMU. From my days in HSBC until today in Pharmaniaga Solutions, i have come a long way in terms of maturity as well as gaining extra kilos on the sidelines. My bank account aint swelling as much as i thought it will be initially and defenitely my credit record aint that lovely either. On the serious side, the past one year has been a big learning curve for me. Exposure to managing people and business has opened up my eyes and mind. I am more aware of people now in terms of how snaky they can be and some deals are just aint what it seems. Importantly, i realised that good colleagues are hard to come by and its been a blessing here in my current workplace. Work environment is important to motivate you to come to work in the mornings (money too). There is so much knowledge and experience i have that i cant put to words (some classified others my vocabulary limited my thoughts) but i have some pictures from the time i started in 2004 till now 2006. It kinda shows how i have changed.

( my pai kia pose in 2004 )

(cleaned up my act and got myself a new job in 2005 as a conman)

( conned some mat salleh in jakarta in 2006. Sorry Martin!)

Words from my speakers: Ozzy Osbourne

2006-10-16T23:29:00.000+08:00

was listening to some old songs in my library till i came across a song by Ozzy Osbourne titled Dreamer. Now, when i listened to it years ago i wasnt really understanding the lyrics but today it suddenly sounds meaningful looking at how screwed up the world is at the moment. Here are the lyrics for the pondering but remember to download the song and listen to it. Oh yeah, dont forget to support Ozzy by buying some legit CDs or through iTunes. Cheers!

Dreamer
Gazing through the window at the world outside
Wondering if mother earth will survive
Hoping that mankind will stop abusing her, sometime

After all theres just the two of us
And here we are still fighting for our lives
Watching all of history repeat itself, time after time

Im just a dreamer, I dream my life away
Im just a dreamer, who dreams of better days

I watch the sun go down like everyone of us
Im hoping that the dawn will bring a sign
A better place for those who will come after us this time

Im just a dreamer, I dream my life away, oh yeah
Im just a dreamer, who dreams of better days

Your higher power may be God or jesus christ
It doesnt really matter much to me
Without each others help there aint no hope for us
Im living in a dream, a fantasy
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah

If only we could just find serenity
It would be nice if we could live as one
When will all this anger, hate and bigotry be gone?

Im just a dreamer, I dream my life away, today
Im just a dreamer, who dreams of better days, ok
Im just a dreamer, whos searching for the way, today
Im just a dreamer, dreaming my life away
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
- Ozzy Osbourne

Red Alert!!!

2006-10-13T19:27:00.000+08:00

I felt dizzy and nearly threw up when i saw this on apple's website. I just bought the 2nd Generation iPod nano 2 weeks ago and now they release a red one. If i knew this earlier i would have waited. Dont get me wrong on this, i love my silver nano which is fine but i would have bought this one!!! goddam it, damn youse apple! damn youse all to hell!!! ..oh yeah, guess who's idea this was?

Nope, not Oprah but Bono. The red ipod nano is part of the (red) initiative to combat AIDS in Africa and apple is donating USD 10 to the fund for every red nano that is sold. Its noble enough to support and to find out more go ask Terry who i think knows what this www.joinred.com thingy more than me. Cheers!

the old grunge me

2006-10-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

I was watching TV the other day and the Foo Fighters video that was playing made me think about my school days, my uni days and of course now.In a way, i grew up along the time from when Dave Grohl was drumming for Nirvana till Kurt killed himself and also from when Dave formed Foo Fighters and of course today they still rock the charts. I think that is a long time ago and for Dave to be rocking today is just amazing i think (with all the youth gone soft and emo).Grunge defined me during my formative years in school and i still feel so connected when i listened to Foo Fighters these days, kinda relates to me ( the old rocker from 90's soldiering on). The teenage angst has mellowed so has the wild days. To think bout it,the 90's was good man, it was so good.

The Wait

2006-10-01T03:31:00.000+08:00

We wait,for the bus,for the plane and for some cases the boat.But when a delay occurs we would ask ourselves will it arrive? or is it gonna arrive at all? We see other bus/plane/boat arrive one by one to other destination but ours have yet to arrive. We wait, till we lose our patience and start being agitated for we dont know when it will arrive and we dont like unknowns for an answer. we lose all control of ourselves till finally it arrives. It arrives. For all the waiting & mess, we will in the end reach our destination. Dont ask when or how long, just wait.

- conceptual emo

Wine Tasting @ Denise

2006-09-28T02:17:00.000+08:00

Its takes alot for one to agree to go for wine tasting on a wednesday night in view of the next working day plus the factor your home is at least 1/2 hour drive away as opposed to the 5 minutes drive for others. So i took up the offer by a colleague to join him and 2 more office mates for some mid-week wine action at Denise Wine Shop @ SS2 PJ and the results was rather relaxing which comes as a suprise.

We tasted a few bottles of wine that day but the ones that stand out are Famillia Zuccardi Reserva Malbec 2004 reds which is perfect for the beginner who wants something light bodied and the other one was some Orzaba Cardignan reds ( cant remember the full details, ask me when you go wine shopping) which is more full bodied and is suitable for those who loves Cabernet Sauvignon type of wines. Its was a lovely to end a working day with some friends and of course good wine. Some pics below:

Its Ramadhan again!

2006-09-26T22:51:00.000+08:00

One year ago around this time, i was a junior in my company and now fast forward today i am a senior in a company that is looking more empty as the days gone by. Oh well, what can i do bout people leaving (might consider it next year though). As usual, Ramadhan means some of my frens will fast and miss the lunch sessions, massive after work traffic jams, zombies walking around due to the lack of vitamin C (cigarette withdrawal syndrome) but it also means food galore every evening (kuih-muih etc)for us that dont puasa hehe.

Anyway, i dont have much to bitch about this time round so i'll just wanna wish my Muslim frens Selamat Berpuasa & have a good Ramadhan.

Lets Pray for the 'Hamster'

2006-09-22T21:43:00.000+08:00

As a regular follower of the BBC show 'Top Gear', i am actually quite shocked and saddened by the Richard 'The Hamster' Hammond's accident and i really hope and pray that he makes a quick recovery from his injuries. We seriously dont need another TV show host death ( its bad enough that the Croc Hunter is gone ) and let's all pray together for Hammond.

Links to latest updates:

A night out at the theater

2006-08-19T21:34:00.000+08:00

I managed to catch Puteri Gunung Ledang : The Musical on Thursday night, this time after missing out on the first one. This time there was no qualms that we paid good bucks for good seats ( Stephenie said it was on only 100 bucks!) and a good performance by the cast. The cast led by Tiara Jacquelina (Gusti Putri) & Stephen Rahman-Hughes (Hang Tuah) were excellent in delivering their performances on stage but i must say that A.C Mizal ( Gusti Adipati) was the star of the night as the Majapahit emperor where he exudes charisma on stage and brings the character of Gusti Adipati to live (albeit dramatic). The singing and song arrangement was good although the surtitles on top of the stage could be better placed ( we have to strain our necks to read it) but i can see that the second time around everyone seemed to be comfortable in their roles and enjoying it to full measure ( Adlin Aman Ramlie seemed to enjoy his tyrant Sultan Mahmud role ).

On a more serious note, i think this production has shown that a locally staged play/musical in Malay language can succeed as well or even better than the usual suspects such as Cats, Miss Saigon etc. It was done professionally and it was fantastic to think that the creative crew were all Asian with Tiara being the driving force behind it all. If only more future local Malay language plays/musical can be as good as this, i think we can expect to see more support as what we have seen with Puteri Gunung Ledang : The Musical.

Never Gone

2006-07-27T10:31:00.000+08:00

After being away from Earth for about 3 months, i am back again ( i wasnt in Marijuanaville searching for my roach clip on a rope, i swear). So what did i missed out? oh yeah, the World Cup which Italy triumph and i wont talk more about it as everyone else has done it. Not forgetting also the political turmoil at home (old man vs. successor) and also some fudge brownies.

So here i am writing again inspired by the taught and the fact that i am 25 but i felt like 30. Is there a reason for this? Perhaps its a sign of burnout like the one suffered by Michael Owen & Nicolas Anelka both which are still young but seems like they have been there for a long time and now is fading. Am i fading away or is it that i am losing focus on my ambitions? Maybe its all of the reasons and at my age i should be on top of my form and nearing peak but here i am still sturggling to get back on form with some flashes of brilliance now and then but inconsistent throughout the season.

But what i like to do in the near future is get my life sorted. Maybe i should find someone and get involved in a relationship again. Its been too long i guess and it always leaves a bitter taste whenever a girl breaks your heart and leaves for another guy. But i didnt sulk like Jose Mourinho and moved on but at times i do feel that perhaps i dont want to experience the deja vu again ( i've been hit twice) and want to be on safe side. One day perhaps things will change, till then i'll continue to blow bubbles in the air.

Words from my speakers: Ada Band

2006-05-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

I found words from this song 'Manusia Bodoh' by Ada Band interesting and thought wanna share it out. Dont get the wrong ideas.

Dahulu terasa indah
Tak ingin lupakan
Bermesraan selalu jadi

Satu kenangan manis

Tiada yang salah
Hanya aku manusia bodoh
Yang biarkan semua ini permainkanku
Berulang ulang kali

Chorus:
Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati
Layaknya karang yang dihempas sang ombak
Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka
Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir

Tak ayal tingkah lakumu
Buatku putus asa
Kadang akal sehat ini
Tak cukup membendungnya
Hanya kepedihan
Yang selalu datang menertawakanku
Engkau belahan jiwa
Tega menari indah di atas tangisanku

Bridge :
Semua kisah pasti ada akhir
Yang harus dilalui
Begitu juga akhir kisah ini
Yakinku indah

Discovering Hong Kong

2006-04-20T18:20:00.000+08:00

I am now writing this piece about my trip to Hong Kong(HK) for an ICT & Electronics Expo which i just got back recently while i am still recovering from the lack of sleep and chili padi.

First Impressions
Hong Kong is well connected by public transportation ( it's the current issue most Malaysians talk about) and pratically you can get anywhere without the need to own a car (unless you want to show off your new Merc or Porsche). Its like Singapore but slightly dirtier and less restricting in its laws. The people here are quite friendly to my suprise and are willing to help but the only thing slacking or lacking is pretty girls. For my whole duration of stay I only saw about 2 pretty girls and i think they are from Mainland China (maybe all the cun chicks are at TVB). Oh well.

Sights
Well, in my cramped schedule i managed to take a ferry ride from Kowloon to HK Island (great view at night but more expensive too) , visited Disneyland at Lantau Island (you should go visit the giant Buddha in the morning and then only explore Disneyland till night), thronged various shopping mall around Central & Causeway Bay, visited the Peak and walk around Mongkok. Seriously you can cover alot in a short amount of time.

Food & Beverage
Well, what can i say that the food is good! the wantan mee is great and nothing beats the roast duck rice there. Its abit pricey though costing around HKD 23 - 30 (RM 12.50 -15) per meal but large portions are assured. A great place to start is at Kowloon although the food is consistently good around HK's various 'char chan teng'. As for drinks, skip Lan Kwai Fung as its very much like Bangsar and get a good place at Soho (where the escalators are). The drinks are about RM 25 per glass and you cant drink much if you are on budget.

Overall
There is nuthin much else for me to add here which you cant find in the internet and furthermore i was supposed to be working. But feel free to drop me a line if you want to know more as i have lots of comments which i kinda lazy transferring to words.

A small step to end Fatman's reign

2006-04-08T20:57:00.000+08:00

I have finally join a gym nearby my house after all the procastination that lasted months. perhaps after this, my pants wont so tight anymore.

Something brewing in my mind

2006-04-07T20:38:00.000+08:00

Hmm...after a long break here i am again at this page. Anyway this week has been great in a whole, a good effort by the CFMMU for their Easter Event and also meeting up some old friends at that event(CFMMU seniors just keep coming back for these events) , and of course a great movie out with some good pals.

This year's Easter Event by CFMMU was an event to subsitute the usual CyberChristmas and its a refreshing experience. Although they had a good story to tell, i still felt more can be acheived with less. I shall not comment further on what my critical mind (too much movies & being in theatre does that to me) as it wont be fair for the great effort and hard work they have shown to get it done (hats off for that!) but like what i said to Terry, it has given us at least some ideas to toy about for our upcoming MVA project. Oh yeah, we spotted some talent could use for our project as well (theatre has always given many their first motion picture break).

Movie wise, 'Inside Man' by Spike Lee is a good movie to catch. It may be your usual heist movie but great acting and also tight directing made this a pleasureable experience. Also being a Spike Lee effort the movie exposes the viewer to the soul of New York, all kinds of characters from diverse ethnicity that co-exist (New York puts Malaysia to shame with their Muhibah spirit). Catch the movie if you can, its great.

Fading Flames of Patriot

2006-03-14T00:03:00.000+08:00

It is true that in today's world, its hard to make a honest & decent living. The honest & decent have no place in the realm of deceit, lies, dishonesty and agendas. It does send a piercing arrow to the ones that work hard everyday when they are defeated by those to flew above. But the challenge lies in holding true to one's principle and believe that our turn will come. One way or another.

Broken Wings

On broken wings I'm falling

And it won't be long

The skin on me is burning

By the fires of the sun

On skinned knees I'm bleeding

And it won't be long

I've got to find that meaning

I'll search for so long

Cry ourselves to sleep

We will sleep alone forever

Will you lay me down

In the same place with all I love

Mend the broken homes

Care for them they are our brothers

Save the fading light in our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know

What you give

Will always carry you

And who's to say

We won't survive it too

Aint Losing It Yet

2006-03-10T23:28:00.000+08:00

Being under work stress is quite worrying. It causes one to talk cork and sometimes look delirious. Friends will give you the look as though you have lost your marbles. Yeps. Alot of shit happend man but all is under control (i'm not denying). I have been through worse though, there were times in the past where i was lost and questioned the meaning of life but faith changed me. At times or peril or troubles, you dont have to look far for inspiration as He is right there. Tough times are there for us to reflect on things and to stregthen our weaknesses. Our burden is no more than what we can handle. Believe it and keep the faith.

Get Rich or Die Trying...again

2006-02-28T22:31:00.000+08:00

I live in a third world country where discimination is openly practiced and the country's economic riches are controlled by a few. Not only that, the goddam government is wiping off the decent wealth of its people by imposing unreasonable taxes on imported goods. Oh yeah, i dont live in Africa either.
Damnit man, if the government wants to save money then just remove the bloody fuel subsidies and make cars cheaper by abolishing the high taxes. Oh..they cant becoz bloody factory that aseembles cars called proton will be killed if that is done. Well, it aint gonna live long too i tell ya. With the sweeping wave of globalization comes the cleansing tides change. Actually, why am I ranting about this country, heck i wasnt even born here anyway. But the people around me are and thats the only reason why i continue to bitch instead of moving my bum back to where i came from far up north.

What drives me?

2006-02-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

It seems vague these days for me. I used to have the fire within and the hunger for ambition but I dont seem to see it now. Its those questions you ask yourself now and again "what am I doing?". Are my ambitions dimmed? Has the burning fire gone cool? What drives me? I seek definition.

Immanent Demon Blues

2006-02-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

Man, i hate working with retards. This is the problem when you are involved in government projects when there is a huge gap in mentality. On one end, we the private company would bust our ass to complete a project by giving full cooperation and autonomy to our partner but what you get as a result is a back stab and the blame for their own incapabilities and incapacity to solve problems. So what can you do? take all the blame and hope all ends well.
Professional issues aside, these days my inner demon is surfacing again. All this while i thought i have locked that side of me away but somehow time and again "he" started appearing. My darkside has returned and i need to find a way to seal it. Either that or harness the full power of my inner demon (i might not return normal if that happens) i'm in for a rough time.

The Valentine Posting

2006-02-15T20:18:00.000+08:00

Yeps, its inevitable that this kinda crap will show up in my blog. Normal blogs will go and say how the day or night has been great or even how it sucked big time and shit. As for me, i'm joining the bandwagon but with a question "Whats the fuss all about?". Truth is i never had a chance to "celebrate" Valentines Day as all of my relationships somehow ended before Feb 14 and spared me from financial disaster. It may be novel when you are like in your teens and the gal in the tuition class seems hot but as you grow up, its just passe. Now instead whining around and in true Hi-Fidelity fashion, i'll give you my top 5 list of Valentine's Day songs:

1) Black Eye Peas - Where is the love?
2) James Ingram - Just Once
3) Dewa - Pupus
4) Rascal Flatts - Bless the Broken Roads
5) Nirvana - Seasons in the Sun

The CNY Posting

2006-02-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

Whew, i have been eating and eating like mad since CNY (Thank God for the plentyful bounty). After this i must remember to exercise otherwise i'll end up looking like Jabba the Hut. Anyways, this CNY has been quite a low key affair as on the 3rd day when the usual 30 over odd friends go visiting my house as well as a few other homes were skipped due to us gambling overtime at the few houses we went. But all is good, i managed to get some time off from work to regenerate and refresh my energy and cells. I have spent good time with my family and though most of my hometown friends are busy its still great to hang out and catch up with them once in a while.

Its a great start to the Year of The Dog and i pray to the Lord for Him to keep continue His blessings to me and my family. Gong Xi ! Gong Xi!

Dreamtheater Rocks in Singapore!!!

2006-01-29T01:58:00.000+08:00

Yeps...i have just gotten back from down south with my regular Singapore and Concert kaki Mr. Ong and made it for my family's CNY dinner. What can i say, Dreamtheater and Singapore rocks!!. Here are the highlights:

1) Upgraded our concert tickets from SGD 120 to SGD 150 at Kallang Indoor Staidum straight away when we reached Sgpore (we are kiasu to get infront of the stage and hopefully infront of John Petrucci).

2) We stayed in a cheap hotel at Geylang where you can get hookers legally. ( nope, we didnt)

3) Shop, Shop and Shop the whole two days till i'm broke.

4) Singapore girls are damn chio!! ( i like)

5) Somehow everyone thought we were Singaporeans. (damn)

6) Concert rocks!!! ( we were right infront of the stage and John Petrucci)

7) Deep in my heart, Singapore is like an alternate universe of how KL can be. ( its every Malaysian's dream that we can be like them someday hopefully)

8) Bloody JB taxi drivers charge us RM25 to get to Larkin Station from the Train Station.

9) Double Bonus in the bus. (kekeke)

10) Home Sweet Home

January Updates

2006-01-15T18:56:00.000+08:00

Yea, i'm lazy and busy alltogether. You can definitely tell by how my blog is iregularly updated. But since we are in 2006, i guess i can try and fix things abit eh. Well, here's what happened so far:

Resolutions
Like a true champion, i achieved last year's resolution just days before 1st january. Its was just something i needed to say to someone and i did it after 4 years of procastination and nearly missed it after i set it as a new year resolution (yeah, i had to turn it to a resolution after 3 years to get it done). This year my resolution is to Get FIT! Its about time i trimmed down so i can fit my new clothes better (its more like i dun want to buy new sizes) and i believe from experience resolutions can be achieved at the very nick of time. So, do remember to ask "Why you still Fat??" whenever you meet to remind of my resolution.

Career
I am now a confirmed executive of Pharmaniaga Solutions, a Supply Chain Management Consultancy and recently i have been given more responsibilities in my portfolio which will augur well in my plans to climb the corporate ladder (i'm still on track to be a Tan Sri) . I also very much hope to get about RM 5 million worth of projects for this year. It aint easy but thats what i am hired for. Its gonna be a great year for my career! (with rants here and there)

Financials
With the year ending 2005, my financial standing is that i am in deficit (about RM 30, 000 in red) so i guess i will be working towards black.(just like Idris Jala of MAS only my number is far less than his)

Life
For 2005, i have done what i set out for and i am glad i did it. Sometimes the outcome is not what you expected or even wanted but the important thing is to keep the faith (God has His plans for us, so be patient). But i believe that you miss 100 percent the shots you didnt take so i just do it.For this year, i'm gonna be a bit more laid back and let things take its course. I've found my inspiration and I'm all fired up to acheive my dreams.

So thats the summary of what i think i'm gonna do this year. It aint gonna be rosy all year long though, so expect some bitching and ranting here and there (hope its not often). Be Blessed and Yosh!!

Happy New Year 2006!!

2006-01-01T23:11:00.000+08:00

Yahoo!! its a new year again!! and i am still recovering from the party fatigue i had last nite. Had a great time at Ryan's wedding dinner where i did some catching up with some friends which i havent met for years. And after all that party, i still managed to catch some theater action today at the Actors Studio where Actorlympics was the show of the day. And to cap the day off was chilling out at Chilli's BSC with Joeboy, Terry and Kelvin. I guess with blurness, this is all i can write so far. All in all, the new year starts with a bang!

Congratulations to Ryan & Joanne!!

2005-12-31T16:13:00.000+08:00

One of my best buds, Ryan is having his wedding today on New Year's Eve and what a great day to party!! All best wishes and may God bless you and Joanne always!! Congratulations!

Is the stars out of reach?

2005-12-11T13:19:00.000+08:00

It is often said that we must reach for the stars but there are times that i think the stars may be out of reach. Theres not a lot of them on streets either but the not reaching what you aimed for aint the best feeling in the world. At work i am pressured to perform and the financial market out there aint looking that encouraging for me to convince clients that investing in IT is the thing to do to max their ROI. On a personal front things aint looking so rosy either. I felt like i got a cross to bear but sometimes during times like these i wish i can get someting for this pain. The bleeding of disappointements is indeed painful and I do wonder what will happen when it dries and theres no more to bleed. What will I become then? will the fabric of my being change? will I fall to the darkside which is always enticing me with glitter? or will i hold out my essence till my rescue? The only inspiration i can get into my mind is the trials of pain and suffering of another only son that was sent to deliver us all. I think its enough for me to go on through the tough times.I hope i hold out long enough.

A quiet Saturday slumber

2005-12-03T23:22:00.000+08:00

Finally after a week long of hard work, its time to rest. Its rarely that i stayed home during weekends and thats been the case for the last 3 weeks. So today i decided that i am gonna recuperate at home watching a stack of DVDs that i havent watched. Oh yeah, the time of the year is also around the corner. I can already feel it in the air. Can you feel it too?

Been Burnin Purple Haze

2005-11-30T00:15:00.000+08:00

Its almost one month since i posted anything here. I'm having a hectic schedule for the past weeks due to report writings and all. Till now I'm not having enough sleep and slowly i can feel myself being buggered by fatigue. I'm testing my human treshold time and again by doing this.Is it that i spend so much time for others i dont spend some for myself? Maybe, or perhaps its just part and parcel of life. I got so much to tell here but i'm just to stoned to bother. Remind me of what could have been in this space.

Planetshakers Conference 2006

2005-11-08T22:39:00.000+08:00

Planet Shakers was birthed out of a vision that Russell Evans received from God, instructing him to start a youth conference that would change young people, and inspire them to make a difference in their world.

The Planet Shakers Conference began nine years ago with about 300 delegates. Since then, we have seen incredible growth with numbers doubling every year. It is held every year in January, seeing thousands come from all over Australia and different parts of the world.

In 2004, the conference was held in five venues over three weeks. Two weeks in Adelaide, our inaugural week in Perth at Challenge Stadium and two venues in the one week in Brisbane (at Garden City Christian Church and Citipoint COC). Up to 16,000 came along to the night-time meetings. The aim of the conference isn't to entertain but to facilitate a worship encounter with God. 2004 also saw the start of our own Planet Shakers Conference in Malaysia which had a significant impact on youth ministries and churches in all states.

The conference included Electives on Worship, University Outreach, Overseas Missions, Holy Spirit, High School Ministry, and Business & Leadership. The conference had a tremendous impact on the thousands of youth with a strong message to hear the cry of their generation and to respond with the message of Jesus.

DATE: 9-11 November 2006

VENUE: Grand Pyramid Convention Centre, Sunway Pyramid, Bandar Sunway

Find out more here

just a feeling

2005-11-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

Nobody knows who I really am

I never felt this empty before

And if I ever need someone to come along,

Whos gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate

The waves keep on coming and we cant escape

But if we ever get lost on our way

The waves would guide you through another day

Nobody knows who I really am

Maybe they just dont give a damn

But if I ever need someone to come along

I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

And every time I see your face

The ocean heaves up to my heart

You make me wanna strain at the oars,

and soon I can see the shore

I want you to know who I really am

I never thought I'd feel this way towards you

And if you ever need someone to come along,

I will follow you, and keep you strong

~just feelings inside me that needed to be let out~

all is good in the hood

2005-11-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

well, to sum up the missing weeks:

"work-lepak-work-lepak- work- deepavali-lepak-aidilfitri-lepak-lepak -lepak-work"

...sounds like alot of fun eh....

In Penang!!

2005-10-13T23:37:00.000+08:00

yeps..yeps...i'm blogging this while surfing at Starbucks Gurney Hotel! well, i have to come down here for work reasons and i'm gonna go back to KL tommorow.Sighs....good food, good life and also quite a cool rainy nite. Wish it could be like this every day.

Sheesh...

2005-10-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

I am slightly slacking in the office these few days, dont know why or how. Its like i'm out-of-form and my goals are sluggishly achieved. I gotta pick up and buck up before it affects my performance. Sighs....

Congratulations to Mike Woon& Alicia Ng

2005-10-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

Congrats to my colleague Mike and his wife Alicia on their wedding on the 8th of October 2005! Had a great time at the dinner last night as well as the karaoke session after dinner with the rest of the office. May God Bless Always, Cheers!

Jakarta Journals (part III): A Cook's Tour + Thristy Traveller

2005-09-29T23:10:00.000+08:00

Now, I am passionate when it comes to food and drinks whenever i travel. Among the first rules i like to observe is never to eat at tourist joints and try as much to eat as how the locals do. This is what i did exacly in Jakarta.

Food

In Jakarta, the culinary experience is very much Malay influenced with abit of Chinese influences here and there. For starters, their Nasi Padang is a must try at Jakarta. Just chose a decent and clean eatery and treat yourself to some authentic Indonesian cooking ( I ate at Sari Bundo near Alila Hotel). Its unique as the cooking is not so spicy but the add on sambal is. Recommended are the chicken dishes as well as beef rendang. To wash it all down, there is the ultimately delicious "Alpukat" or Avocado juice which is thick and sweet not unlike a fruity milkshake.

Another thing that you should try is the night warungs that they set up around some parts of Jakarta ( my hotel is strategicly near these joints) and i tried one of those for dinner. In these warungs, the recommended dish is the Ikan Gurame (which is very delicate in texture and tastes sweet) which is cooked in a variety of styles. You will never go wrong with the fish.

Not to be missed is the 'Bakso' or Beef Soup with Noodles ( some sort of Beef Kut Teh with meat balls). The one i tried was at the Jakarta Convention Center, Senayan (some restaurant near there, looks quite dodge) it was killer!!

Beverage

Well..err...Indonesia has its own beer too, its call Bintang Beer! its quite smooth and suprisingly nice. But if you wanna binge in Jakarta, be warned it gets expensive if you venture beyond 2 drinks ( USD 10 per drink) . As for clubs....well, look for me and i'll give some more info...cant do it here. ;p

Jakarta Journals (part II): Financial Jakarta

2005-09-27T23:57:00.000+08:00

On the way to the Jakarta Convention Center, we drove into the financial district of the city and wow, i'm impressed. They got banks everywhere and these are banks with big buildings ala Sinagpore's Shenton Way area. There are alot of buildings and most are modern. This sight is a impressive contra view to slums and other areas of Jakarta. It seems that their financial market is much more matured than ours and very much dependent on foreign dollars ( from Sgpore & US) . But what you see is only part of the city which has a population of about half of Malaysia, the other parts of the city are not desireable and is very much advised to stay away from. I have seen that part of the city through a short-cut taxi ride which brought me through the squatters of Jakarta under its railway line. Its a real ghetto and the only thing that saved me from unwanted stares is that i am black/biege/colored. If i was a mat salleh, i would have been an easy target for robbery there. Here you can see the poor side of things and the huge income dispairity between the rich and the poor ( as with all metropolis e.g Bangkok, New York, Los Angeles). Seeing all that leaves very much food for thought as well making me hungry.

Next: A Cooks Tour + Thirsty Traveller

Jakarta Journals: First Impressions

2005-09-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

Okay, when I first heard that I will be going to Jakarta for an expo together with the team at the office I was cold and not really keen so much on it. I was like what can Jakarta offer (I had different picture of that place then) but after spending six days there and got back I think I have a much improved impression of the place.

On day one, the moment you step out of the plane it feels like you have just turned back time and go back to the eighties. The Jakarta International Airport has the look and feel of Subang Airport long time ago. It seems time didn’t change much here in this place. On the trip to check in at the hotel, i noticed that most of Jakarta looks very much like KL back in the early 80's with lotsa squatters, i mean alot. The scene is very much Asian with motorcycles squeezing for space with cars and everything else on the road. Even in the cab itself, you will get the idea how hot and dusty the city is. With the air-con at full blast i still sweat and trust me its worst in the open.

We checked in at our hotel which is Alila Hotel at "Pecenongan" area of Jakarta Central. Its a nice boutique hotel with minimalist designs and setting. Its zen for some and plain simple for others (if you are the Four Seasons type) . With our bags chucked at the hotel we went for lunch and also explore our exhibition site at the Jakarta Convention Center.

Next: The Financial Jakarta

Interesting facts on Oil Reserves

2005-09-14T22:50:00.000+08:00

If you think Malaysia is lucky to have at least an oil reserve, just ponder at these facts..

- There are countries with huge oil reserves that are in poor shape: Iraq, Venezuela and Nigeria to name a few.

- Read somewhere, and i might be wrong but after oil, Iran's second largest export is pistachio nuts. That cant be good. ( I asked someone before what does Iran had otehr than oil. He said "We've got carpets." That doesnt sound good either.)

- Do you know that Norway has a very large oil reserves but it pretends like it doesnt have any?
Hmm...maybe if we can pretend like them??

Spaced Out

2005-09-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

Different day, same questions. Still seeking the answers. Pardon me while i burn into flames.

Good Times are Over?? - (paranoia hits me)

2005-09-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

I think i have been covering this topic quite often in this blog huh? This piece of news confirms that due to low interest rates and high inflation, our rolling good times of afluenza is over. Some said its due to the high energy prices but i think its a combo a few things. First, our import bill is higher than our exports says here and therefore we are not earning as much as we are buying (on a macro level) Second, we are depending on consumer spending to move the economy and as always a low interest rate for loans and non-upward adjustment to incomes will just last as much as it is now. Thirdly, not many investors are keen on investing here in Malaysia due much better competitive edge offered by Thailand and Vietnam here in SEA and of course India and China globally(less FDI flowing in). Mix these 3 plus energy prices and you get the gist of times to come in the near future.

So what happened you may ask? 2004 was a good year yes it was but 2005 was different. This year more and more Malaysians are on debt and the ones paying the debt that has been spurring the local economy (automobiles,properties, non-essential goods) is having a hard time financing his daily essential purchases due to reduction in fuel subsidies and a not so good macro economic overview. Its a tough year for many lower and lower-middle but how bout the middle and upper-middle income class? Are they feeling the pinch yet? I dont know but from my position i am feeling quite concerned that my investments are shrinking faster due to the high "unofficial" inflation rate of about 6 percent. Damn, the more i process the more confused i have become....

Living a Blessed Life

2005-09-05T00:28:00.000+08:00

Are we living a blessed life? Am i living a blessed life? these are questions i ask myself time and again just to keep my feet on the ground. I know i am living a blessed life with all of His loving grace and i dont want to forget that. I am thankful to God that i have good friends and i am in the fellowship of worthy people which i can count on and they can count on me. I am also blessed with a great family that never fail to support me as well blessings in terms of the riches i am able to enjoy. So what can you do when you have all these goodness? well, share the way to achieve it of course!!

There are many people out there that are lost in the darkness and dont know of a better living. I come across these people now and then and i always wonder what if they discover the love of God and change their lives. We have only one chance to live and it would be a waste if we dont do it right. But we who are blessed should extend our arms to the lost ones and try to show them the light. Change things not by preaching through words alone but walk the talk and live life the way He would himself. Be the living example is what i dream to achieve and i hope i can inspire my surroundings to do better for their lives.

Thy Word is a lamp to my feet,

A light to my path alway

To guide and to save me from sin

And to show me the heavenly way.

wish you were here

2005-09-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

I'm down and tired, gotta pay my sleep debts....but this is goin on my mind. Been thinking alot about my life lately and while listening to my mp3s i came across this song and its words that reflect my feelings. Ponder it.

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,

Blue skys from pain.

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade

Your heros for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange

A walk on part in the war

For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl,

Year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have we found?

The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

-Pink Floyd

Selamat Hari Merdeka!!!

2005-08-31T23:35:00.000+08:00

31st August. What does Merdeka Day means to me? Well, for starters a holiday and second my friend's birthday. But more than that, its the date our country gained independence from the Brits. Yeps, for our forefathers it was a day that they have dreamed and fought toe and nail for. Those days were hard but somewhat tough days makes us much more united than it is now.

I still remember the National Day parades back in the 80's and early 90's. The highlight for me was when the Police and Army took their turn at the Dataran Merdeka and i definitely love the flybys from the Air Force jets. As a kid growing up then, i was excited by the affair mostly because school was out and the jets that took part in the parade will fly pass my house. It was an awesome sight of jets above your head outside your home. It was the good old days where 20 cents aiskrim potong rules with Chicadees. It was fun then and how i wish we can return to the good old days where people work hard and actually do things for the country rather than for money and race.

I believe all of us have a dream of a better Malaysia and of course we dont expect Utopia but at least a throw back to the golden days of the 1980's. For my part, i'll do what i can and if all else fails i will still be proud that when i was a kid i loved my country. Happy National Day guys!

Merdeka Speacial: My Top Ten Wish List

2005-08-30T00:13:00.000+08:00

For our country's 48th birthday this year, i have drafted my top ten list of what wish could happen or should happen. Its an open list which i have long thought about and want to share with you all.Here goes nothing....

10. Make me a rich crony so i can help my fellow buddies..i mean fellow citizens.

9. Say 'Tak Nak" to ciggies. For real.

8. What happened to the AP issue? ( not Approved Permit but Ayah Pin)

7. I want some APs too and leave Naza alone. He is kind enuff to make cars cheaper for us to own. You rock man!!

6. Better service from Government Hospitals. Its about time man, its about time.

5. Save the Tigers! No, not the beer but the real ones that can be found waiting to be cooked in dodgy restaurants in places like Puchong and Broga. Burp!..soree...heheh

4.Perodua to continue making us Malaysians proud to own quality cars. It not cheap mind you.

3. Proton to make quality cars instead of the cheap plastic rubbish now. We love ya but even love got its limits. If younger bro Perodua can, you can too!( If Proton quality like Nissan, i sure buy wan)

2. Policies that favour the hardworking and the intelligent (even if its for Ahmad and Ali.. Ah Kow and Muthu can still JV with Ahmad and prosper ;P)

1. God Bless Malaysia!, Its has been a long and tough road to get here and its not gonna be any easier ahead. For everything and nothing else, i pray to God to shower His love and care to Malaysia and shield its people from suffering and to continue the prosperity that we have enjoyed. And oh yeah, continue to give Pak Lah the strength and the will to fulfill his promises as Prime Minister.Amen.

*** Disclaimer****

This list is in no way intended to be political and is done with humour in mind. Also, I am a staunch supporter of the current Government and Prime Minister. All rights reserved and no part of the article may be reprinted or published without the author's consent.Peace Y'all.

These Days

2005-08-23T21:56:00.000+08:00

These days - the stars seem out of reach

But these days - there ain't a ladder on these streets

These days are fast, love don't lasts-in this graceless age

Even innocence has caught the morning train

And there ain't nobody left but us these days

-Bon Jovi

It doesnt take a genius to know whats going on in my mind.Its just me.

seeking heaven

2005-08-21T22:33:00.000+08:00

Its one of those days again, broke and bored. Weekends arent really an exciting prospect these days with almost all entertainment cost money(movie,theater,shopping,makan and minum) so i should be thankful that i stay at the grounds this weekend and prepare for next week's. Is this the world we live in today? need to spent to enjoy? to some extent it has, even going to church cost money (car fuel). What happens when i dont earn? what happens when i run out of money? would it be nice if i am rich? Yes, being rich is the heaven many is seeking. I wont deny i harbour hopes of being rich but to what extend? The dangers the road of riches are known to plunge unsuspecting blokes to the hell of being drunk with money and power. Once you tasted it, you crave more and more. The hunger will leave you devoid of your soul. You will forget the love and ways of God.
I still cant find the heaven i seek but i do believe its assured if i maintain what is close to my heart and not lose my focus. Patience is key and success is not assured in finding heaven of wealth but it is for health.

How Can We Have The Assurance Of Heaven?

Recognize our sinfulness (Romans 6:23).

Believe Jesus died for us (Acts 16:31).

Receive Him as Savior (John 1:12).

Trust His promise (John 20:31).

questions and answers

2005-08-20T01:39:00.000+08:00

"..........this has been going on in my mind for sometime now, maybe days. Is it the right thing to do? One part says i should forget it and another says gamble away. The stakes are high especially when emotions are involved. I have been trying to forget it and only heaven knows how much intellectual reasons i tell myself this plan wont work out. Its still here in my head. The problem is what i feel is honest and i cant find any reasons to justify it. Its there when i wake up and its there when i sleep.

Madness happens when you fall for someone. I am experiencing it right now.I didnt want this to happen because it i am tired of how things end up for me. I always lose, all the time. Maybe its me, maybe i dont have what it takes. I ran away from it for more than a year until now. Deep inside i want to gamble it but burned hands and fears is holding me back. I dont wanna to make a fool of myself again. All i wish for is that what i feel disappears into thin air and save myself from losing what is dear to me. Losing a relationship is painful. It still hurts till today. "

- Tales of a Secret War