The fall of 2007 have been a mad season for me where for some unknown reason, i lost my plot and fell for this girl. I cant help to feel sheepish and embarrased when i asked myself "what was i thinking when i did what i did to start this whole episode". I normally do not i repeat do not simply lose my senses over a girl and over the other flings in the past i did not get mindf**ked like i did this time.
But when i looked back and analyzed it, i went through a similar experience in 2001 when i fell head over heels for someone and got burn pretty badly (close to emotional annhilation). Both these cases are the only times which i got mindf**cked and i cant help to compare both situations. Both of them have a unique personality which get guys go crazy over them, both have somewhat a mysterious aura about them and most of all the depth in overall character. Although there are many differences that makes the two of them seperate individuals, my kryptonite has always been girls who are different than others and have unique personalities which borders weirdness at times.
I also realised that in both cases, the girl always have a positive side effect on me which kinda makes me wanna change myself for the better. The last experience played a big part in my self discovery and also shaped the personality which most of you know me for during MMU days. Then my career came and other shits (heartbreaks and all) happened and along the way i kinda went to a slump where i was kinda lost steam and enthusiasm on life in general. I was more like on autopilot whenever i get off work where life is all about the internets and teh tariks. My professional persona was not affected by all of this but the "fun loving highly fuelled" me was suffering and in fact burning out. Its not that i dont have anything to do or lack of homies to hang out with, its just there is hole in me that all. Somehow, i was pretty suprised to see myself to fall for E.L as i never thought she was the person she is but after getting to know her slightly better, i realised there is more than meets the eye and the next thing i know, i fell deeply for her.
Yeps, i repeated the same mistake twice but this time i saw it coming and did everything i dint do the last time and said all the things i wanted to say before it was too late. I have no regrets of over what i have did but i have to admit i could have done better but too bad i aint Marty McFly. For once in my life, i thought i have found my everything in her and i would run to the ends of the earth to make her happy but when things are too good to be true, its just that. Hope fails, dreams vanish and life goes on. Its gonna take me sometime before i can truly wear off my disappointments but she will always have special place in here my heart. Fall of 2007 have been truly memorable where i was found and lost again, happy and sad all jumbled up like a Timbaland remix.
I also realised that in both cases, the girl always have a positive side effect on me which kinda makes me wanna change myself for the better. The last experience played a big part in my self discovery and also shaped the personality which most of you know me for during MMU days. Then my career came and other shits (heartbreaks and all) happened and along the way i kinda went to a slump where i was kinda lost steam and enthusiasm on life in general. I was more like on autopilot whenever i get off work where life is all about the internets and teh tariks. My professional persona was not affected by all of this but the "fun loving highly fuelled" me was suffering and in fact burning out. Its not that i dont have anything to do or lack of homies to hang out with, its just there is hole in me that all. Somehow, i was pretty suprised to see myself to fall for E.L as i never thought she was the person she is but after getting to know her slightly better, i realised there is more than meets the eye and the next thing i know, i fell deeply for her.
Yeps, i repeated the same mistake twice but this time i saw it coming and did everything i dint do the last time and said all the things i wanted to say before it was too late. I have no regrets of over what i have did but i have to admit i could have done better but too bad i aint Marty McFly. For once in my life, i thought i have found my everything in her and i would run to the ends of the earth to make her happy but when things are too good to be true, its just that. Hope fails, dreams vanish and life goes on. Its gonna take me sometime before i can truly wear off my disappointments but she will always have special place in here my heart. Fall of 2007 have been truly memorable where i was found and lost again, happy and sad all jumbled up like a Timbaland remix.
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