These Days

These days - the stars seem out of reach

But these days - there ain't a ladder on these streets

These days are fast, love don't lasts-in this graceless age

Even innocence has caught the morning train

And there ain't nobody left but us these days

-Bon Jovi

It doesnt take a genius to know whats going on in my mind.Its just me.

seeking heaven

Its one of those days again, broke and bored. Weekends arent really an exciting prospect these days with almost all entertainment cost money(movie,theater,shopping,makan and minum) so i should be thankful that i stay at the grounds this weekend and prepare for next week's. Is this the world we live in today? need to spent to enjoy? to some extent it has, even going to church cost money (car fuel). What happens when i dont earn? what happens when i run out of money? would it be nice if i am rich? Yes, being rich is the heaven many is seeking. I wont deny i harbour hopes of being rich but to what extend? The dangers the road of riches are known to plunge unsuspecting blokes to the hell of being drunk with money and power. Once you tasted it, you crave more and more. The hunger will leave you devoid of your soul. You will forget the love and ways of God.
I still cant find the heaven i seek but i do believe its assured if i maintain what is close to my heart and not lose my focus. Patience is key and success is not assured in finding heaven of wealth but it is for health.

How Can We Have The Assurance Of Heaven?

Recognize our sinfulness (Romans 6:23).

Believe Jesus died for us (Acts 16:31).

Receive Him as Savior (John 1:12).

Trust His promise (John 20:31).

questions and answers

"..........this has been going on in my mind for sometime now, maybe days. Is it the right thing to do? One part says i should forget it and another says gamble away. The stakes are high especially when emotions are involved. I have been trying to forget it and only heaven knows how much intellectual reasons i tell myself this plan wont work out. Its still here in my head. The problem is what i feel is honest and i cant find any reasons to justify it. Its there when i wake up and its there when i sleep.

Madness happens when you fall for someone. I am experiencing it right now.I didnt want this to happen because it i am tired of how things end up for me. I always lose, all the time. Maybe its me, maybe i dont have what it takes. I ran away from it for more than a year until now. Deep inside i want to gamble it but burned hands and fears is holding me back. I dont wanna to make a fool of myself again. All i wish for is that what i feel disappears into thin air and save myself from losing what is dear to me. Losing a relationship is painful. It still hurts till today. "

- Tales of a Secret War

I can feel the heat now

Now, for the proper entry of the day. My job at Pharmaniaga is just gettin exciting. I am now tasked with finding suitable companies to meet during our exhibition in Jakarta this September( which i will go barring problems) and it aint easy seeking good companies in Indonesia because they all go with a different name on the Internet and the language is kinda hard to understand. But its all so newto me and today has been very hectic trying to sort out this and few more other stuff. Its gonna be fun these few coming weeks, i can feel it coming. Watch this space for more.

Lost it....

I blow my DDR RAM last nite. As a result i lost a whole long entry i was writing here and i'm still pissed. It was a long economic article expressing my views and thoughts which i had in my head that time. Its lost now along with the darn RAM, and i have to spend 200 bucks gettin a replacement. Such is life.....

Drops of H20

yeps....rain on the streets. its not much but at least it rains and i hope that a thunderstorm will come our way. Its been a long day and Thank God its a fine day! Clearer skies in the day, and drops of jupiter at night....sweet.

BioHaze-ard : State of Emergency

Well, looks like things are getting serious...Port Klang and Kuala Selangor are now in the State of Emergency where all schools, offices and businesses are to be closed. Those exempted are shops selling food, supermarts and clinics and those essential services. I think if things dont change, Cyberjaya and Subang will be the next in the list as things are not looking good in terms of the wind direction as well as the absence of rain. As i met with some folks from Jabatan Kaji Cuaca, they confirmed that chances of respite is quite slim at the moment.
As chronic as it may be, be thankful that other areas like Ipoh, Penang, Melaka are not affected yet by the haze so there is still a chance of an evacuation to these holiday spots. Its time to plan a weekend holiday guys. Its not Game Over just yet.

BioHaze-ard : Dawn of the Red Sun

Damn, the haze is getting worse it seems from yesterday. Everyone is buzzzing around regarding the haze as the air quality has detiorated badly and it seems that we cant do anything much. When i drove to work just now, the sun was just a red dot in the sky....bad omen.....its just twilight zone out there with an API that could be around 200 in Kajang and close to 390 in Cyberjaya. Its not good....just not good.

Hopes and Dreams- Another dude's going on Eurotrip

Man...i havent seen Yee Shin for weeks and now he is going on a tour in Europe this Thursday. I mean this dude followed the example of another friend of ours by quiting his job and just board the plane to UK. Just like that...wow....
This means i have lost another kaki for mamak sessions..sighs... but i really hope he finds his calling on this trip of discovery and fulfill his dreams. I will be following his steps too...soon i hope.

OMG !! I cant believe it all over!!!

Yahoo!!!.. I am now an official graduate student of MMU, yeps yeps....now i'm a qualified ninja after close to one year finishing my studies and working. Its funny that my convocation took place at a time where my career is starting to bloom. I'm happy that after all the playing and disregard of my studies i managed to get my piece of paper qualification .Thank God above!!

This batch of students that graduate will be a promising future for the country as i believe all of us are armed to the teeth with IT knowledge and with the His grace , we will rule one day!! But on the same note, i am sad too that finally my campus life comes to an official end. I never thought my 3 years in MMU will bring so much meaning in life to me. No more skipping classes and waking up late, no more crazy adventures in my Batmobile, no more noises from HB 1, no more gang and most importantly no more carefree days. I know I gotta let it go and look foward to the future but it sure feels like the last episode of Friends, if you know what i mean. Sighs....Thank You and Goodbye MMU, you are the best times of my life.

Another Sunday Jotting

Sundays are always bittersweet for me cause one one hand is still a weekend and on another hand, Monday is just round the corner. Fuel prices are up again...sighs....that means another $4 increase for my full tank. The reason why we are all gloomy when it comes to fuel increase is not the fuel prices itself but the effects of it. Some MF will take advantage and raise their price of goods by 10 cents or 20 cents..biacthes...we all know that 20 cents extra in diesel prices dont transalate to 20 cents on other stuff. You can see all these MF traders around us, the mamak stalls, restaurants and many more shops. I hope these people burn in hell.

Enough of anger management, its time to party!! Next week in convo weekend and i think i can smell party from here...eheheh...Most of my homies already agreed to stay over on friday night and i reluctantly agreed. At first i was thinking of driving up and down the PLUS highway for two days but because i'm gonna end up lepaking till late night on friday, might as well just bunk in. Afterall, its not often that it happens. Cant wait for the party and oh yeah, if you guys think that our scroll is gonna be a nice piece of paper with designs on it ( like all other degrees recognize or not) forget it....MMU's degree scroll is one piece of shit i tell ya, just one piece of A4 paper that can be printed by anybody. So if anyone wants a nice fake scroll with a design based on RMIT scroll, I'm taking orders. Gonna print myself a fake degree.heheh ...nuff said.

just a song...

"Then the rainstorm came over me

And I felt my spirit break

I had lost all of my belief you see

And realized my mistake

But time through a prayer to me

And all around me became still

Through the rainstorm came sanctuary

And I felt my spirit fly

I had found all of my reality

I realize what it takes

I need love, love's divine

Please forgive me now

I see that I've been blind

Give me love

Love is what I need to help me know my name"

Hopes and dreams - My American Dream

What a week it has been, Audiowarfare on Thursday night and lotsa talks on the street on AP's and other political stuff that dont matter to me. Theres also talks of dreams of going abroad to start a new life and most of the time Australia and UK come up tops as choice destination. Deep inside me, i have always dreamt of going to the United States (where dreams can come true) and make it big there, to live the American Dream just like most immigrants that arrive at Lady Liberty's doorstep at NY Harbor once a upon a time long ago. At this moment of time, i'm a bit hesitant of that dream. It seems that right here in Malaysia i might just get a little lucky if i try hard enough and might just end up rich. Also the global situation is just not so conducive for living in the big US of A ( Damn that Redneck President!)
Sighs, bad timing that all these has to happen now when i am eager to venture out and when i have nothing to lose. Or do i have everything to lose? I dunno. But if a better life quality that i am seeking, then the bold move must be made no matter what. The only stumbling block is recognition, a degree from MMu just dont cut out outside Malaysia, know what mean? So my ticket will be an Internationally recognized qualification which i have to take in the near future.
So there's my plan for my hope and dreams. I have a dream but as always the opportunity costs are just to difficult to calculate. Or maybe its time for me to sleep?

Rainy days....

Its been a boring day with a great wheather...yes..i love the rain actually...playing football at the MMU rugby field this evening does bring back some good memories of my good 3 years there. I cant help but miss my uni life and its mostly cause my life is not as happening as it was those days...which ended a year ago...now i have no life, so to speak. I miss hanging out with crowd and also living the hostel life with loud music, Warcraft and Coke, etc....

As this point of my working life, i feel like there is whole range of mountains to climb...if the past 24 odd years have been like Mt. Everest, then this is the K2 summit we are talking about...tougher to crack even for the pros who can climb Everest. Its humbling to know that all the achivement and past glory count for nothing now, its so sobering to think about it when you do at times like today. But despite all this there is one thing that wont change and still counts no matter what happens....His love from above still counts and He is my guide when night falls on my path. Its the truth and by the way, enjoy the wheather...

Clouds...

If you ever bothered to read up my blog once in a while, you will notice that i have gaps in between my post. Well, ever since i left HSBC i seem to be not getting enough time online to update posts and also to get some good sleep. I think i need to revamp my life totally....get more online time and hopefully some life...

Binge Weekend

Man,...its a long time since i enjoyed my self drinking and eating carelessly. On friday night , i had like one of the best weekend night in this year!! Imagine dinner with colleagues at Kelab Golf Negara Subang with 2 bottles of red wine, one 1996 Vintage Dom Perignon champagne, one Martell Cordon Bleu, one Macallans' Forties and of course a cuban cigar. That is what i call enjoying fine moments of life..when you are fortunate to have great colleagues that have memberships to exclusive golf and country club and fine fine alcohol.

Words cant explain the pleasures of that weekend but i think it was partly contributed by the fact it was a mixed feelings week. I had fun at the SAP SummIT 2005 conference and got to know a few chicks..hehe but also some sadness on the London bombings. One moment you are carefree reflecting on a good day and another moment thinking of the events that happen in London. Some people wont be fortunate to celebrate weekends and some will be left with bad memories but i belive that London and her residents will be resilient and overcome this. With my pleasures on the weekend i also extend a prayer to the Lord for His blessings and also for Him to always protect us Malaysians.Amen.

Sunday and Live 8

Yeah man, Bob Geldof organized a hell of show last night from London, Berlin , Moscow, Philidelphia, Paris , Tokyo and a host of other places i cant recall. Live 8 rocks !!...but will it really give an effect to G8 to do something about poverty?..i really hope so. We are living in totally materialistic society here in Malaysia or shall i say Klang Valley. All we do is complain that we dont have BMWs and Evos or that we dont have enough money to buy that RM 400 shoe or clothes at KLCC or One Utama so its a bit hard for me to imagine that they are really people out there who are dying cause they cant afford Panadol or some flu and cough medicine. But its true that some kid in Africa is dying every 3 seconds...yeps. All because they are too poor and all we do is complain that our lives are not fortunate enough. Its sad but i really hope and pray that at least something can be done by powerful nations to eradicate poverty with their billions of dollars that are currently being used to wage wars and to conquer some third world econoy. Damnit G8, its time you put your dollars to some good for once.

Thank God its Friday!!

Well, it has been a very long week indeed. Since Monday, I have not been able to get enough sleep and due to that, my thinking process was a bit affected by it. Oh yeah, I got my car dented by a motorbike too during this week. Sighs, its bad enough the whether is not good at all but these obstacles just do push my patience to a limit. I’m beginning to feel like the global economy where I has been subjected to bad whether and high oil prices with the prospects that US consumer spending wont be increasing soon. Talk about high oil prices, are you one of the people fooled by the rumor that prices are gonna increase? If you are, don’t you know so far all the price increase was announced on Wednesdays? Yea man chill out…petrol price would only increase after the cabinet meets on Wednesdays and the announcement will come on that evening itself via radio and TV. Come on guys, you should know better than trusting some SMS or internet rumor. Have faith in the mainstream media for once in these kind of news.

As i met with Kameeni and Charveen during lunch at Cyberia, i realized that since i have entered MMU back in 2001 till now i have not joined any organization outside of Cyberjaya...MMu...HSBC...now some company at Century Square....wow...i love Cyberjaya!!!
hahaha...and good luck to all my friends that are on a job search, i wish you all the best and may you land the job of a lifetime so we can have a nice chat sometime...kekeke

mid week ramblings...

Its close to 2 weeks since i started work at my new work place and i have settled down quite well and its now all about my performance. I am feeling a bit of pressure from myself as i am not used of not getting any flak and unreasonable work duties. I am supposed to develop new businesses and also seek new projects for my company but somehow it is not happening as yet.

This week theres gonna be a GT race at Sepang and at this point i have not decided to go or not yet and i am depending on the crowd within my gang and if they go i will go. Its been a while since i went to a GT race and it will be nice if i can be there again.

Damn..sleep creeping in like a melodic tune and i'm blacking outzzz..............

The Return of the Jedi!!!...not!!!

After more than a month of silence, i am back....like how Batman has returned to the big screens after a long absence. Throughout the whole missing month, a whole lot of stuff happened which i would not elaborate here as i want it to be like the Clone Wars. It happened but the story will be told some other time.

Abstract of what happened?:

1) Soul searching up north

2) Star Wars

3) Got a job offer from Pharmaniaga

4) Got another job offer at PriceWaterhouseCoopers

5) Declined PwC and joined Pharmaniaga

6) Batman Begins!!

And all of this happened with a lot of bumming goin on as well interesting stories in between but we will talk about it next time. I'm back and it feels good, if you have been looking at this blog previously and thought i was dead after May 9th.....too bad, I'm back stronger and badder than before and i'm here to stay!!