My old friend the optimist

I want to rise today and change my world
But the world wont change if i dont myself
There are so many things to re-arrange
Starting with what i think and feel

I want to count my blessings
I want to hear the music
To change this world
Before it changes me

I want to throw it all away
Pieces of the old broken me
What use for relics of sadness
If not to shackle your heart

I want to laugh big and smile
I want to lift off and dream
To change this world
Before it changes me

I want to keep a happy memory
To serve as a guide to me
So many new things to try
Too few to tell my stories to

I rise today to change the world
Before the world changes me
The skies are blue with no limits
Its the time for the optimist :)

My mad season

The fall of 2007 have been a mad season for me where for some unknown reason, i lost my plot and fell for this girl. I cant help to feel sheepish and embarrased when i asked myself "what was i thinking when i did what i did to start this whole episode". I normally do not i repeat do not simply lose my senses over a girl and over the other flings in the past i did not get mindf**ked like i did this time.

But when i looked back and analyzed it, i went through a similar experience in 2001 when i fell head over heels for someone and got burn pretty badly (close to emotional annhilation). Both these cases are the only times which i got mindf**cked and i cant help to compare both situations. Both of them have a unique personality which get guys go crazy over them, both have somewhat a mysterious aura about them and most of all the depth in overall character. Although there are many differences that makes the two of them seperate individuals, my kryptonite has always been girls who are different than others and have unique personalities which borders weirdness at times.

I also realised that in both cases, the girl always have a positive side effect on me which kinda makes me wanna change myself for the better. The last experience played a big part in my self discovery and also shaped the personality which most of you know me for during MMU days. Then my career came and other shits (heartbreaks and all) happened and along the way i kinda went to a slump where i was kinda lost steam and enthusiasm on life in general. I was more like on autopilot whenever i get off work where life is all about the internets and teh tariks. My professional persona was not affected by all of this but the "fun loving highly fuelled" me was suffering and in fact burning out. Its not that i dont have anything to do or lack of homies to hang out with, its just there is hole in me that all. Somehow, i was pretty suprised to see myself to fall for E.L as i never thought she was the person she is but after getting to know her slightly better, i realised there is more than meets the eye and the next thing i know, i fell deeply for her.

Yeps, i repeated the same mistake twice but this time i saw it coming and did everything i dint do the last time and said all the things i wanted to say before it was too late. I have no regrets of over what i have did but i have to admit i could have done better but too bad i aint Marty McFly. For once in my life, i thought i have found my everything in her and i would run to the ends of the earth to make her happy but when things are too good to be true, its just that. Hope fails, dreams vanish and life goes on. Its gonna take me sometime before i can truly wear off my disappointments but she will always have special place in here my heart. Fall of 2007 have been truly memorable where i was found and lost again, happy and sad all jumbled up like a Timbaland remix.

Songwriter's block

One of the ways i express myself is to write songs and many of those are crap honestly speaking. But from the craps i wrote one or two manage to find themselves a melody over a chord progression and hopefully i will be able to record a demo single with three tracks before Christmas this year. I've been heavily influenced by Keane and Radiohead lately but since i cant find the melody and words i have been looking for, i decided to do what self respecting song writers and musicians do: listen to other genres be it pop, country, dance, hip hop, yadda yadda. One of the songs i heard this morning over the radio (MyFM) and got stuck in my head is 不能说的秘密 (Secrets I cant Tell) by Jay Chou. The mood was just right with the rainy morning and the slow traffic. The words suits my current emo but not hardcore enough to distrupt anything so i decide to feature the lyrics below to let you know what i mean. Sometimes i wish i can write songs like this...damn.

不能说的秘密 (Secrets I cant Tell)

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
leng ka fei li kai le bei dian
As the cold coffee leaves the coaster

我忍住的情绪在很后面
wo ren zhu de qing xu zai hen hou mian
I desperately tried to hold my emotions far behind

拼命想挽回的从前
pin ming xiang wan hui de cong qian
Fighting hard to restore the past

在我脸上依旧清晰可见
zai wo lian shang yi jiu qing xi ke jian
On my face you can still see ever so clearly

最美的不是下雨天
zui mei de bu shi xia yu tian
that rainy day wasn’t the most beautiful

是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh~~
shi ceng yu ni duo guo yu de wu yan
It’s the shelters that I once shared with you in the rain

回忆的画面
hui yi de hua mian
The pictures in my memory

在荡着秋千 梦开始不甜
zai dang zhe qiu qian meng kai shi bu tian
While on the swings dreams become less sweet

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zou geng yuan
You told me that by gradually letting go I’d be able to go further

又何必去改变已错过的时间
you he bi qu gai bian ni cuo guo de shi jian
and why bother changing the times that you’ve missed

你用你的指尖 阻止我说再见
ni yong ni de zhi jian zu zhi wo shuo zai jian
you used your fingertip to stop me from saying goodbye

想像你在身边在完全失去之前
xiang xiang ni zai shen bian zai wan quan shi qu zhi qian
imaging you being by my side before you completely disappear

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zou geng yuan
You told me that by gradually letting go I’d be able to go further

或许命运的签 只让我们遇见
huo xu ming yun de qian zhi rang wo men yu jian
Perhaps life’s destiny only allowed us to meet

只让我们相恋 这一季的秋天
zhi rang wo men xiang lian zhe yi ji de qiu tian
(and) Only allowed us to love this one season of fall

飘落後才发现 这幸福的碎片
piao luo hou cai fa xian zhe xing fu de sui pian
only after the pieces drifted down that I realized these are the pieces of happiness

要我怎麼捡
yao wo zen me jian
How do i pick them up

Not so spotless mind

Just when i was about to enjoy some peace in my mind and have a normal semblence of life, something have to just come and spoil it. While driving home i was listening to my usual Lite.fm Eighties evening (where they play funky songs from 80's where synthesizers were heavily used and sometimes is just plain annoying) when suddenly they have to feature Richard Marx. I thought ok lar a bit of "Endless Summer" or "Right Here Waiting" wont hurt but NOO..they decide to play a song i have not heard on the radio for ages which is "Hold On to the Night". Its basically a song about being in a emotional dilemma and words of the lyrics just hits you like an Al-Qaeda suicide bomber (totally suprising and right to the heart). Now i'm not gonna put those words here cause you need the music and the singing to complete the damage (hints: go search you tube, there is a live performance of that song) but the damage was unexpected. I was like in emo mode the rest of the evening. Better still out of the blue some friend of mine which normally dont buzz me online went and ask how come my status is emo ( its being like dat for ages lar...u dont notice only). So i told him the summary of it and he gave me the same advice most people giving...continue the pursuit. But my question is this, i do want to chase but what if she has stopped running long time ago. A million dollar question that is.

Gulp thy coffee

Well, i am writing this right now in my office with my hot black coffee smelling good beside me. Its been raining since i woke up early this morning and getting to work seems to be a little adventure by itself. I have had a weekend of intense reflection as well as resolution regarding my sad current affairs. After going through a stage of denial, anger at myself, i am now beginning to enter a stage of acceptence which although might be to early to say today but i would like to think i am slowly crawling out of the moment which i am stuck on.

Although i feel very much towards her and would defintely stuck it out for her but looking at situation, i think it is safer for me to lower my expectations and hope that things would turn out right not only for me but also for her. In the end of the day, she still means a lot to me and i do owe it to her for some of the positive changes in my life as well for giving me back the sense of direction in my life which i have lost for quite some time. For this, i will try to move on with my life positively and silently hope that i'm not written off when she is ready the next time. Well, my coffee is getting cold now.

All you can bring is all that you cant leave behind

Comedies sometimes are the best escape you can find from your troubled heart. Watching Chuck & Larry last night made me feel good but at the same time the parts on relationships made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I think this is because the person whom I am trying to forget for the past one week is just sitting two seats away from me. It’s the first time I am seeing her after what happened early last week and for the first time I am finding that’s its very difficult to pretend that nothing has happened when you realize that deep inside you the feelings still linger and you actually miss that person so much. No matter how much I try to not to think about her the whole day or week, it still haunts me once a while. Its hurts when you cant show how much you care or tell her how much you miss her. I guess she had a point when she told me that missing someone can lead to suffering.....

My long road to ruin

I have been thinking about this for quite some time now. Is it to pursue something that might be futile although there are some chances of success? Have i got anything to lose sticking it out? Is it worth it? You know what, even if there is a 5 % chance i will still proceed and i have nothing to lose anyways. For all this is worth, it is more than worth my time and effort to aim for something that means more than anything to me. I am now drawing strength from a song by the foo fighters taken from their new album:

Long Road to Ruin

Here now don't make a sound
Say hey have you heard the news today
One flag was taken down
To raise another in its place
A heavy cross you bear
A stubborn heart remains unchanged
No harm, no life, no love
No stranger singing in your name

Maybe the season
The colors change in the valley skies
Dear God I've sealed my fate
Running through hell
Heaven can wait

Long road to ruin
There in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow
No dead end in sight

Let's say we take this town
No king or queen of any state
Get up to shut it down
Open the streets and raise the gates
I know a wall to scale
I know a field without a name
Head on without a care
Before it's way too late

Maybe the season
The colors change in the valley skies
Oh God I've sealed my fate
Running through hell
Heaven can wait

Long road to ruin
There in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow
No dead end in sight

Long road to ruin
There in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow
No dead end in sight

For every piece to fall in place
Forever gone without a trace
Your horizon takes its shape
No turning back, don't turn that page

Come now, I'm leaving here tonight
Come now, let's leave it all behind
Is that the price you pay
Running through hell
Heaven can wait

Long road to ruin
There in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow
No dead ends

P.S: Dont forget to support Dave and the Foos by buying their new album Echoes, Silence,Patience & Grace available in stores & iTunes now!!

To Space and Beyond

I just realized that i have been ignoring this blog of mine after my image hosting site screwed me up and also due to my lack of time and commitment to writing. Actually i do write but i do not publish it as it contains details which i do not want to share as well as it has sensitive information.

I am writing again on this month of October 07 where Malaysia now has a Spaceman and i cant understand what the fuss is about when any Tom, Dick and Harry can go to space with USD 30 million like Dennis Tito. Oh well, thats another story altogether. The main reason i am writing now is because its like therapy for me when i am bothered by something or cant find a solution to my problems.

Problem: I am a lalang swaying left and right without any direction.WTF happened and why?
Solution: Even lalang grows towards the sun despite swaying left and right. Find the sun and i shall i get my answer.

I have been exposed to the cosmic rays.......nuff said.

Minutes to Midnight

Minutes to Midnight
Out in Record Stores Now

New Year's Day

All is quiet on New Year's Day
A world in white gets underway
I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes on New Year's Day
On New Year's Day

I will be with you again

Under a blood red sky
A crowd has gathered in black and white
Arms entwined, the chosen few
The newspapers says, says
Say it's true it's true...
And we can break through
Though torn in two
We can be oneI...

I will begin again

Oh..
Maybe the time is right
Oh...
maybe tonight...

I will be with you again
And so we're told this is the golden age
And gold is the reason for the wars we wage
Though I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes
On New Year's Day
On New Year's Day
- U2 (New Year's Day)

Its over 2006 and new year begins in 2007. After listening to that song by U2, i cant help but to listen to a newer song by them Miss Sarajevo and reflect on what kind of world we are living in.
Something is wrong with the world today and some of us must be wondering why nothing is done to correct the wrongs and perhaps question whether we have been abandoned by the power above. Maybe, but i think we just need love. The world has forgotten to love and this has caused violence and the chain reactions wont end unless we all have the will to forgive and love. Its the universal language of the world and maybe the hope of a better future. Love, Peace and Empathy.

Merry Christmas!!!

Yahoo!!! its Christmas and its the best time of the year!!! its been a good christmas so far and all i can say is thank God for the abundance of food we had and i hope and pray we all continue to enjoy such blessings. Its also been great to meet up with some old friends which i havent met in ages as well chilling out with my regular friends.Wish y'all many blessings during this season, Cheers!!!

P.S: In view of those affected by the floods down south and have their Christmas holidays wrecked, lets all pray and contribute to their rebuilding. If New Orleans can, we can too.

End of the road for Cyberjaya

"The Klang Valley will be turned into a Multimedia Super Corridor (MSC) in stages, said Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. He said details of the plan were being worked out and more cybercentres would be rolled out quickly in the Klang Valley." - The Star Online Friday 8/12/2006

Does this mean Cyberjaya has come to its end as town?With no reason to move here will mean that it will stop developing and might end up a dead town. You can say anything you like bout Cyberjaya but its my town and i love it the way it is. I have wrote bout my feelings on Cyberjaya here before but the prospect of it really dying saddens me.I do really feel attached to this town after all the fun of stealing banners at nite, walkiing from MMU to streetmall or even to Cyberview Lodge for that game of pool and jug of beer. Its a town where you know the faces (used to be exclusively MMU)and lastly not least its my home since Dec 2001.

Tommorow Never Dies

Its been a whirlwind 2 weeks for me and it doesnt seem its gonna end soon (i hope it ends by Xmas tho). Imagine taking over the process of managing a RM20 million online database project for the Malaysian Government and at the same time managing multiple tasks invloving other projects (tasks include meetings, preparing proposals,price negotiation,etc) and also doing my networking (attending meetings and dinners)which shall i say tiring. To sum up what have been going on in my company:

1) My company has been bought over by UEM World
2) Colleagues leaving (either back to parent company or somewhere in Cyberjaya)
3) In view of the previous point, guess who is the one elavated to the coveted status? me?

Its slowly taking a toll on me but i guess i'll take my toll another day. Anyways, you know my name and i only live once.

Happy St. Andrew's Day

Today is St. Andrew's day which is also happens to be Scotland's National Day (St.Andrew is our patron saint). Although it is moderately celebrated back in Scotland, there are calls to make it a celebration worthy for a saint plus a few days back the Scottish parliament have voted to make St. Andrews Day a new national holiday . Anyways, here in KL whats St. Andrew's Day without whisky eh? God Bless Scotland & Cheers!

Some facts about our saint:

SAINT Andrew and his brother Simon Peter were both fishermen before joining Jesus to become disciples and "fishers of men" (Matthew 4:19). After the crucifixion, St Andrew spent his life spreading the word of God through Asia Minor, Macedonia and southern Russia. It is believed that he was martyred in 70AD at Patras, Greece, by the Roman governor who ordered him to be crucified on an X-shaped cross known as a Saltire Cross. His bones were removed in the 4th century by Emperor Constantine and taken to his new capital Constantinople.

Legend has it that St Rule, an Irish assistant of St Columba, was told by an angel to remove St Andrew's remains to the "end of the earth" for safekeeping. St Rule did as directed and took a tooth, an arm bone, a kneecap and some fingers from the tomb. St Rule was shipwrecked off the east coast of Scotland near a Pictish settlement at what is now St Andrews and where he took up residence.

The rest of the saint's bones remained in Constantinople until they were stolen in around 1210. These remains are now in Amalfi in southern Italy

While the story is speculative, what is a matter of record is that by the mid-8th century a religious centre was founded in the area of St Andrews by either St Rule himself or the Pictish King Ungus (731–761). Another version of how the bones came to Scotland has Acca, Bishop of Hexham, a renowned collector of relics, visiting this religious community and bringing the bones with him in around 732.

The bones were placed in a specially constructed chapel until 1160 when they were removed to the newly built Cathedral of St Andrews. Medieval pilgrims travelled to view the relics here and it soon became established as the religious capital of Scotland.

During the Reformation, on 14 June 1559, the interior of the cathedral and, it is thought, the relics were destroyed by a mob led by the Lords of the Congregation who - fired by the teachings of John Knox - destroyed many Roman Catholic buildings in Scotland.

Scotland was to remain without relics of the saint for many years. Then in 1879 the Archbishop of Amalfi sent a small piece of St Andrew's shoulder blade to the Roman Catholic Church in Scotland. In 1969 Pope Paul VI gifted more relics of the saint to Scotland with the words "Saint Peter gives you his brother." These can be seen at St Mary's Roman Catholic Cathedral in Edinburgh.

St Andrew is the patron saint of Greece, Russia and Scotland. As protector or guardian he is also invoked against gout and a stiff neck.

- source from The Scotsman

Sad State of Affairs

We live in interesting times where the world has lost its mind and it seems like the epidemic has reached our shores. This entry will an unprecedented event as i never blogged about politics before this and i think things have reached a level even an ignorant bum like me got something to say.

I have lived in this country for most of my life and grew up loving it till lately where i realised it aint so sweet anymore and recent political affairs/foreign news reports/comment from an Iranian friend just confirmed my fears that indeed this country is 'tearing apart' (to quote a good friend's term) and there is nothing we can about it. The neo-con politicians from the party that represents the country majority ethnic group are busy talking & arguing about issues of NEP,other races are taking away our wealth, bla,bla,bla without caution or care that these viewpoints actually spook the minorities in the country and of course the foreigners who dont or little understand how Malaysia works. Now, firstly i think the NEP is relevant still and should stay in place but what rattles me is that the policy had been hijacked to benefit a few and most of these few are politicians themselves. The policy had been abused where you see it actually encroach the rights of its minorities and the minorities are not happy anymore.

Of course they wont shout it out like the majority but they will retaliate in a quiet & subtle manner. The key to this retaliation is the economic power the minorities still have and the most powerful weapon of all, education. The country's brightest people have already left and will continue to drain out and the business community will put their money somewhere safer like Singapore or Hong Kong. It will make Malaysia an uncompetitive nation in 15 years time and it will be too late then to reverse the damage.

The short-sightedness of the country's rulers will see Malaysia slip further economically and the likes of Thailand & Vietnam overtake us as the prefered foriegn investment destination. I can also see that more & more minorities are planning or already migrating to other countries and this means the brightest and smartest of the Malaysian minority will contribute to the likes of Australia & Singapore who appreciate their contribution. All these will slowly but surely be felt and when it does, its too late to reverse the damage.

I personally dont see any future for this country anymore unless a miracle happens and its sad that being called a Malaysian for many means nothing anymore. All i can say is God bless Malaysia.

from
Don, a Scottish born Siamese who has been residing in Malaysia for the past 20 years.

"May God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Baroque and Roll @ Singapore

Train tickets: RM 70
Concert Tickets: SGD75
Hotel: SGD 60
Getting deaf while watching Yngwie Malmsteen live in front of you: Priceless

Yea man, i caught Yngwie (pronounced Ing-way) Malmsteen live in concerto at Fort Canning Park in Singapore last Thursday nite. With the Great Wall of Marshalls (guitar amps), it dawned to me that this is not going to a symphony in the park. How true that was as the maestro wasted no time in starting the concert with the opening number The Rising Force and we rocked all the way rock kapak style (long hair, tight leather pants, guitar shredding) for 2 hours and its an experience to behold to watch one of my guitar idols live in action with his famed lighting speed adagio solos. Imagine this guy actually made Bach sound good with electric guitars and heavy drums plus some quick fingers over the fretboard (Vanessa Mae eat your heart out!!). This is Neo-Classical at its best!! I got some pictures below to show to you all, enjoy!!





P.S: Despite the great time we had, there were some grouses that nite concerning the sound setting (amps dont sound right & too much echo) and the promised meet and greet session didnt materialize at the last minute (we were waiting the hotel till some fellow fan told us it has been cancelled). Of course more pictures will be uploaded once i get my hands on them.

Goodbye Boys

Its a first time that i have watched one local after another (the other was Rain Dogs which i caught last night). This movie by Bernard Chauly (the director of Goal&Gincu) is about 8 boy scouts from Ipoh taking a 5 days 100km journey as a requirement for the King Scout badge is a typical coming of age teenage boys movie but with a local flavour. Although the movie is set in 1990, it stayed clear of being nolstagic which i feel is nice.At this point i could share more thoughts about the technical aspects of the movie or even talk more about the characters but i shall leave that to Joe (if he blogs about this movie lar). What i want to share is that sometimes during the movie i cant help but to think back on my own days as a scout and a uniformed body member. Watching some scenes reminded me of my own experiences and moments cutting wood in the forest near my shcool, camping and eating over campfire just came into my mind. After finishing the movie, i cant help but look back at my old school time photographs and remembering the days how simplicity is at the end and complexity has just begun. I can go on and on talking about those days but i think its better for you to catch this good piece of film and see if it can invoke some good memories of your own school days.

All the free time

Long holidays normally pose a problem to me in terms of how am i gonna spend all that time. Of course its not much left after discounting doing your chores, sleeping and going out to hang out with friends. Well, over the last few days i managed to cover these activities:

Eat
What can i say? its the festive time of Deepavali and Hari Raya and glorious food. Had a good outing at a good friend's house in Klang for Deepavali and as with previous years, the mutton curry still rocks! The adventure continues on the 1st day of Raya yesterday where i was treated to some good Johor style cooking at a colleagues house for lunch and one more time in the evening at an old friend's home. Good food and good times, that's what Malaysia is all about man and no one can take that away....unless the chef decides to move elsewhere.

Sights
Lets start with the stuff i watched over the few days. After reading bout it in Joe's blog, i went and bought 'The Devil wears Prada' from the friendly neighboorhood DVD shop in Seapark. Its a good watch and although it may look like a chick flick it isnt. Its a good movie and Merryl Streep gets my applaud for her excellent performance here. After watching the movie, i actually thought about my work and where i want to be in my career and it seems to me that when you are at the top, life is boring and you are alone.Hmm.Anyways, check out Joe's entry on that movie for more or lurk up at IMDB.com

P.S: 'City of Blinding Lights' never sounded so good before...hehehe

Sounds
I also managed to watch G3 Live in Tokyo: Satriani/Vai/Petrucci on DVD. Now this was a recording of the G3 concert last year in Tokyo that featured ny favorite guitarist Steve Vai and his buddy Joe Satriani along with John Petrucci of the DreamTheater fame. Its a godd concert DVD and i think i liked this more than the previous one featuring Malmsteen as the guest. Well, below is how the cover of the DVD looks like and you can get it from Amazon.com.



Read
I did also read a book. Yes i do read and even though i dont get to do it often i love reading. This time around a friend of mine whom i catch up with over the weekend recommended me to read a book by Paulo Coelho titled The Alchemist. Now i have heard about this book for a long time now since i was in shcool and it never occured to me to read this book until that friend told me the book is good as the story is inspiring and yada yada. So i bought it at Borders (it aint cheap at Rm 33 for a book less than 200 pages. Like they said, 'Dont judge a book by its cover' and to my suprise the book is really an interesting read! Its a story about a boy who dreamed about a hidden treasure and his adventures from Tangiers to Egypt to search for the treasures. It deals with the topic of how one finds his destiny or purpose in life and what can be learned from your journeys and the observation of nature.Its fun book to read and i recommend you to read it as well. Its quite short and i finished the book in a few hours (suitable for a 4 hour flight). Below is how the book looks like and again you can buy from Amazon.com or your local bookstore near you.



Talk
And finally of course, talking. Its what i do best and i spend some quality time with some friends doing just that over coffee/tea/juices. The topics can range from Rm30 shoes in a pasar malam, life at work, cars, chicks and money but the thing is that time was well spent catching up with one another in this fast moving life of ours. I feel good doing so.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Salam Aidilfitri diucapkan kepada semua member-member Muslimin & Musliman!! Mohon maaf zahir & batin!! Tidak lupa juga untuk mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya kepada keluarga pakcik ku di Kedah. Lets all have a very good and blessed Hari Raya.

Happy Deepavali!!

Happy Deepavali to all of my friends that are celebrating!!! the festival of light is here again with good memories of mutton curries and of course hanging out with friends. Well, i'm looking foward to these memories again tommorrow at a friend's house.

My two years of working (in Technicolor)

Yeps, October 18 marks my two years of actual work after graduating from MMU. From my days in HSBC until today in Pharmaniaga Solutions, i have come a long way in terms of maturity as well as gaining extra kilos on the sidelines. My bank account aint swelling as much as i thought it will be initially and defenitely my credit record aint that lovely either. On the serious side, the past one year has been a big learning curve for me. Exposure to managing people and business has opened up my eyes and mind. I am more aware of people now in terms of how snaky they can be and some deals are just aint what it seems. Importantly, i realised that good colleagues are hard to come by and its been a blessing here in my current workplace. Work environment is important to motivate you to come to work in the mornings (money too). There is so much knowledge and experience i have that i cant put to words (some classified others my vocabulary limited my thoughts) but i have some pictures from the time i started in 2004 till now 2006. It kinda shows how i have changed.



( my pai kia pose in 2004 )


(cleaned up my act and got myself a new job in 2005 as a conman)


( conned some mat salleh in jakarta in 2006. Sorry Martin!)

Words from my speakers: Ozzy Osbourne

was listening to some old songs in my library till i came across a song by Ozzy Osbourne titled Dreamer. Now, when i listened to it years ago i wasnt really understanding the lyrics but today it suddenly sounds meaningful looking at how screwed up the world is at the moment. Here are the lyrics for the pondering but remember to download the song and listen to it. Oh yeah, dont forget to support Ozzy by buying some legit CDs or through iTunes. Cheers!

Dreamer
Gazing through the window at the world outside
Wondering if mother earth will survive
Hoping that mankind will stop abusing her, sometime

After all theres just the two of us
And here we are still fighting for our lives
Watching all of history repeat itself, time after time

Im just a dreamer, I dream my life away
Im just a dreamer, who dreams of better days

I watch the sun go down like everyone of us
Im hoping that the dawn will bring a sign
A better place for those who will come after us this time

Im just a dreamer, I dream my life away, oh yeah
Im just a dreamer, who dreams of better days

Your higher power may be God or jesus christ
It doesnt really matter much to me
Without each others help there aint no hope for us
Im living in a dream, a fantasy
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah

If only we could just find serenity
It would be nice if we could live as one
When will all this anger, hate and bigotry be gone?

Im just a dreamer, I dream my life away, today
Im just a dreamer, who dreams of better days, ok
Im just a dreamer, whos searching for the way, today
Im just a dreamer, dreaming my life away
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
- Ozzy Osbourne

Red Alert!!!

I felt dizzy and nearly threw up when i saw this on apple's website. I just bought the 2nd Generation iPod nano 2 weeks ago and now they release a red one. If i knew this earlier i would have waited. Dont get me wrong on this, i love my silver nano which is fine but i would have bought this one!!! goddam it, damn youse apple! damn youse all to hell!!! ..oh yeah, guess who's idea this was?




Nope, not Oprah but Bono. The red ipod nano is part of the (red) initiative to combat AIDS in Africa and apple is donating USD 10 to the fund for every red nano that is sold. Its noble enough to support and to find out more go ask Terry who i think knows what this www.joinred.com thingy more than me. Cheers!

the old grunge me

I was watching TV the other day and the Foo Fighters video that was playing made me think about my school days, my uni days and of course now.In a way, i grew up along the time from when Dave Grohl was drumming for Nirvana till Kurt killed himself and also from when Dave formed Foo Fighters and of course today they still rock the charts. I think that is a long time ago and for Dave to be rocking today is just amazing i think (with all the youth gone soft and emo).Grunge defined me during my formative years in school and i still feel so connected when i listened to Foo Fighters these days, kinda relates to me ( the old rocker from 90's soldiering on). The teenage angst has mellowed so has the wild days. To think bout it,the 90's was good man, it was so good.

The Wait

We wait,for the bus,for the plane and for some cases the boat.But when a delay occurs we would ask ourselves will it arrive? or is it gonna arrive at all? We see other bus/plane/boat arrive one by one to other destination but ours have yet to arrive. We wait, till we lose our patience and start being agitated for we dont know when it will arrive and we dont like unknowns for an answer. we lose all control of ourselves till finally it arrives. It arrives. For all the waiting & mess, we will in the end reach our destination. Dont ask when or how long, just wait.

- conceptual emo

Wine Tasting @ Denise

Its takes alot for one to agree to go for wine tasting on a wednesday night in view of the next working day plus the factor your home is at least 1/2 hour drive away as opposed to the 5 minutes drive for others. So i took up the offer by a colleague to join him and 2 more office mates for some mid-week wine action at Denise Wine Shop @ SS2 PJ and the results was rather relaxing which comes as a suprise.

We tasted a few bottles of wine that day but the ones that stand out are Famillia Zuccardi Reserva Malbec 2004 reds which is perfect for the beginner who wants something light bodied and the other one was some Orzaba Cardignan reds ( cant remember the full details, ask me when you go wine shopping) which is more full bodied and is suitable for those who loves Cabernet Sauvignon type of wines. Its was a lovely to end a working day with some friends and of course good wine. Some pics below:

Its Ramadhan again!

One year ago around this time, i was a junior in my company and now fast forward today i am a senior in a company that is looking more empty as the days gone by. Oh well, what can i do bout people leaving (might consider it next year though). As usual, Ramadhan means some of my frens will fast and miss the lunch sessions, massive after work traffic jams, zombies walking around due to the lack of vitamin C (cigarette withdrawal syndrome) but it also means food galore every evening (kuih-muih etc)for us that dont puasa hehe.

Anyway, i dont have much to bitch about this time round so i'll just wanna wish my Muslim frens Selamat Berpuasa & have a good Ramadhan.

Lets Pray for the 'Hamster'

As a regular follower of the BBC show 'Top Gear', i am actually quite shocked and saddened by the Richard 'The Hamster' Hammond's accident and i really hope and pray that he makes a quick recovery from his injuries. We seriously dont need another TV show host death ( its bad enough that the Croc Hunter is gone ) and let's all pray together for Hammond.

Links to latest updates:

A night out at the theater

I managed to catch Puteri Gunung Ledang : The Musical on Thursday night, this time after missing out on the first one. This time there was no qualms that we paid good bucks for good seats ( Stephenie said it was on only 100 bucks!) and a good performance by the cast. The cast led by Tiara Jacquelina (Gusti Putri) & Stephen Rahman-Hughes (Hang Tuah) were excellent in delivering their performances on stage but i must say that A.C Mizal ( Gusti Adipati) was the star of the night as the Majapahit emperor where he exudes charisma on stage and brings the character of Gusti Adipati to live (albeit dramatic). The singing and song arrangement was good although the surtitles on top of the stage could be better placed ( we have to strain our necks to read it) but i can see that the second time around everyone seemed to be comfortable in their roles and enjoying it to full measure ( Adlin Aman Ramlie seemed to enjoy his tyrant Sultan Mahmud role ).

On a more serious note, i think this production has shown that a locally staged play/musical in Malay language can succeed as well or even better than the usual suspects such as Cats, Miss Saigon etc. It was done professionally and it was fantastic to think that the creative crew were all Asian with Tiara being the driving force behind it all. If only more future local Malay language plays/musical can be as good as this, i think we can expect to see more support as what we have seen with Puteri Gunung Ledang : The Musical.

Never Gone

After being away from Earth for about 3 months, i am back again ( i wasnt in Marijuanaville searching for my roach clip on a rope, i swear). So what did i missed out? oh yeah, the World Cup which Italy triumph and i wont talk more about it as everyone else has done it. Not forgetting also the political turmoil at home (old man vs. successor) and also some fudge brownies.

So here i am writing again inspired by the taught and the fact that i am 25 but i felt like 30. Is there a reason for this? Perhaps its a sign of burnout like the one suffered by Michael Owen & Nicolas Anelka both which are still young but seems like they have been there for a long time and now is fading. Am i fading away or is it that i am losing focus on my ambitions? Maybe its all of the reasons and at my age i should be on top of my form and nearing peak but here i am still sturggling to get back on form with some flashes of brilliance now and then but inconsistent throughout the season.

But what i like to do in the near future is get my life sorted. Maybe i should find someone and get involved in a relationship again. Its been too long i guess and it always leaves a bitter taste whenever a girl breaks your heart and leaves for another guy. But i didnt sulk like Jose Mourinho and moved on but at times i do feel that perhaps i dont want to experience the deja vu again ( i've been hit twice) and want to be on safe side. One day perhaps things will change, till then i'll continue to blow bubbles in the air.

Words from my speakers: Ada Band

I found words from this song 'Manusia Bodoh' by Ada Band interesting and thought wanna share it out. Dont get the wrong ideas.

Dahulu terasa indah
Tak ingin lupakan
Bermesraan selalu jadi

Satu kenangan manis

Tiada yang salah
Hanya aku manusia bodoh
Yang biarkan semua ini permainkanku
Berulang ulang kali

Chorus:
Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati
Layaknya karang yang dihempas sang ombak
Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka
Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir

Tak ayal tingkah lakumu
Buatku putus asa
Kadang akal sehat ini
Tak cukup membendungnya
Hanya kepedihan
Yang selalu datang menertawakanku
Engkau belahan jiwa
Tega menari indah di atas tangisanku

Bridge :
Semua kisah pasti ada akhir
Yang harus dilalui
Begitu juga akhir kisah ini
Yakinku indah

Discovering Hong Kong

I am now writing this piece about my trip to Hong Kong(HK) for an ICT & Electronics Expo which i just got back recently while i am still recovering from the lack of sleep and chili padi.

First Impressions
Hong Kong is well connected by public transportation ( it's the current issue most Malaysians talk about) and pratically you can get anywhere without the need to own a car (unless you want to show off your new Merc or Porsche). Its like Singapore but slightly dirtier and less restricting in its laws. The people here are quite friendly to my suprise and are willing to help but the only thing slacking or lacking is pretty girls. For my whole duration of stay I only saw about 2 pretty girls and i think they are from Mainland China (maybe all the cun chicks are at TVB). Oh well.


Sights
Well, in my cramped schedule i managed to take a ferry ride from Kowloon to HK Island (great view at night but more expensive too) , visited Disneyland at Lantau Island (you should go visit the giant Buddha in the morning and then only explore Disneyland till night), thronged various shopping mall around Central & Causeway Bay, visited the Peak and walk around Mongkok. Seriously you can cover alot in a short amount of time.

Food & Beverage
Well, what can i say that the food is good! the wantan mee is great and nothing beats the roast duck rice there. Its abit pricey though costing around HKD 23 - 30 (RM 12.50 -15) per meal but large portions are assured. A great place to start is at Kowloon although the food is consistently good around HK's various 'char chan teng'. As for drinks, skip Lan Kwai Fung as its very much like Bangsar and get a good place at Soho (where the escalators are). The drinks are about RM 25 per glass and you cant drink much if you are on budget.

Overall
There is nuthin much else for me to add here which you cant find in the internet and furthermore i was supposed to be working. But feel free to drop me a line if you want to know more as i have lots of comments which i kinda lazy transferring to words.

A small step to end Fatman's reign

I have finally join a gym nearby my house after all the procastination that lasted months. perhaps after this, my pants wont so tight anymore.

Something brewing in my mind

Hmm...after a long break here i am again at this page. Anyway this week has been great in a whole, a good effort by the CFMMU for their Easter Event and also meeting up some old friends at that event(CFMMU seniors just keep coming back for these events) , and of course a great movie out with some good pals.

This year's Easter Event by CFMMU was an event to subsitute the usual CyberChristmas and its a refreshing experience. Although they had a good story to tell, i still felt more can be acheived with less. I shall not comment further on what my critical mind (too much movies & being in theatre does that to me) as it wont be fair for the great effort and hard work they have shown to get it done (hats off for that!) but like what i said to Terry, it has given us at least some ideas to toy about for our upcoming MVA project. Oh yeah, we spotted some talent could use for our project as well (theatre has always given many their first motion picture break).

Movie wise, 'Inside Man' by Spike Lee is a good movie to catch. It may be your usual heist movie but great acting and also tight directing made this a pleasureable experience. Also being a Spike Lee effort the movie exposes the viewer to the soul of New York, all kinds of characters from diverse ethnicity that co-exist (New York puts Malaysia to shame with their Muhibah spirit). Catch the movie if you can, its great.

Fading Flames of Patriot

It is true that in today's world, its hard to make a honest & decent living. The honest & decent have no place in the realm of deceit, lies, dishonesty and agendas. It does send a piercing arrow to the ones that work hard everyday when they are defeated by those to flew above. But the challenge lies in holding true to one's principle and believe that our turn will come. One way or another.

Broken Wings

On broken wings I'm falling

And it won't be long

The skin on me is burning

By the fires of the sun

On skinned knees I'm bleeding

And it won't be long

I've got to find that meaning

I'll search for so long

Cry ourselves to sleep

We will sleep alone forever

Will you lay me down

In the same place with all I love

Mend the broken homes

Care for them they are our brothers

Save the fading light in our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know

What you give

Will always carry you

And who's to say

We won't survive it too

Aint Losing It Yet

Being under work stress is quite worrying. It causes one to talk cork and sometimes look delirious. Friends will give you the look as though you have lost your marbles. Yeps. Alot of shit happend man but all is under control (i'm not denying). I have been through worse though, there were times in the past where i was lost and questioned the meaning of life but faith changed me. At times or peril or troubles, you dont have to look far for inspiration as He is right there. Tough times are there for us to reflect on things and to stregthen our weaknesses. Our burden is no more than what we can handle. Believe it and keep the faith.

Get Rich or Die Trying...again

I live in a third world country where discimination is openly practiced and the country's economic riches are controlled by a few. Not only that, the goddam government is wiping off the decent wealth of its people by imposing unreasonable taxes on imported goods. Oh yeah, i dont live in Africa either.
Damnit man, if the government wants to save money then just remove the bloody fuel subsidies and make cars cheaper by abolishing the high taxes. Oh..they cant becoz bloody factory that aseembles cars called proton will be killed if that is done. Well, it aint gonna live long too i tell ya. With the sweeping wave of globalization comes the cleansing tides change. Actually, why am I ranting about this country, heck i wasnt even born here anyway. But the people around me are and thats the only reason why i continue to bitch instead of moving my bum back to where i came from far up north.

What drives me?

It seems vague these days for me. I used to have the fire within and the hunger for ambition but I dont seem to see it now. Its those questions you ask yourself now and again "what am I doing?". Are my ambitions dimmed? Has the burning fire gone cool? What drives me? I seek definition.

Immanent Demon Blues

Man, i hate working with retards. This is the problem when you are involved in government projects when there is a huge gap in mentality. On one end, we the private company would bust our ass to complete a project by giving full cooperation and autonomy to our partner but what you get as a result is a back stab and the blame for their own incapabilities and incapacity to solve problems. So what can you do? take all the blame and hope all ends well.
Professional issues aside, these days my inner demon is surfacing again. All this while i thought i have locked that side of me away but somehow time and again "he" started appearing. My darkside has returned and i need to find a way to seal it. Either that or harness the full power of my inner demon (i might not return normal if that happens) i'm in for a rough time.

The Valentine Posting

Yeps, its inevitable that this kinda crap will show up in my blog. Normal blogs will go and say how the day or night has been great or even how it sucked big time and shit. As for me, i'm joining the bandwagon but with a question "Whats the fuss all about?". Truth is i never had a chance to "celebrate" Valentines Day as all of my relationships somehow ended before Feb 14 and spared me from financial disaster. It may be novel when you are like in your teens and the gal in the tuition class seems hot but as you grow up, its just passe. Now instead whining around and in true Hi-Fidelity fashion, i'll give you my top 5 list of Valentine's Day songs:

1) Black Eye Peas - Where is the love?
2) James Ingram - Just Once
3) Dewa - Pupus
4) Rascal Flatts - Bless the Broken Roads
5) Nirvana - Seasons in the Sun

The CNY Posting

Whew, i have been eating and eating like mad since CNY (Thank God for the plentyful bounty). After this i must remember to exercise otherwise i'll end up looking like Jabba the Hut. Anyways, this CNY has been quite a low key affair as on the 3rd day when the usual 30 over odd friends go visiting my house as well as a few other homes were skipped due to us gambling overtime at the few houses we went. But all is good, i managed to get some time off from work to regenerate and refresh my energy and cells. I have spent good time with my family and though most of my hometown friends are busy its still great to hang out and catch up with them once in a while.

Its a great start to the Year of The Dog and i pray to the Lord for Him to keep continue His blessings to me and my family. Gong Xi ! Gong Xi!

Dreamtheater Rocks in Singapore!!!

Yeps...i have just gotten back from down south with my regular Singapore and Concert kaki Mr. Ong and made it for my family's CNY dinner. What can i say, Dreamtheater and Singapore rocks!!. Here are the highlights:

1) Upgraded our concert tickets from SGD 120 to SGD 150 at Kallang Indoor Staidum straight away when we reached Sgpore (we are kiasu to get infront of the stage and hopefully infront of John Petrucci).

2) We stayed in a cheap hotel at Geylang where you can get hookers legally. ( nope, we didnt)

3) Shop, Shop and Shop the whole two days till i'm broke.

4) Singapore girls are damn chio!! ( i like)

5) Somehow everyone thought we were Singaporeans. (damn)

6) Concert rocks!!! ( we were right infront of the stage and John Petrucci)

7) Deep in my heart, Singapore is like an alternate universe of how KL can be. ( its every Malaysian's dream that we can be like them someday hopefully)

8) Bloody JB taxi drivers charge us RM25 to get to Larkin Station from the Train Station.

9) Double Bonus in the bus. (kekeke)

10) Home Sweet Home

January Updates

Yea, i'm lazy and busy alltogether. You can definitely tell by how my blog is iregularly updated. But since we are in 2006, i guess i can try and fix things abit eh. Well, here's what happened so far:

Resolutions
Like a true champion, i achieved last year's resolution just days before 1st january. Its was just something i needed to say to someone and i did it after 4 years of procastination and nearly missed it after i set it as a new year resolution (yeah, i had to turn it to a resolution after 3 years to get it done). This year my resolution is to Get FIT! Its about time i trimmed down so i can fit my new clothes better (its more like i dun want to buy new sizes) and i believe from experience resolutions can be achieved at the very nick of time. So, do remember to ask "Why you still Fat??" whenever you meet to remind of my resolution.

Career
I am now a confirmed executive of Pharmaniaga Solutions, a Supply Chain Management Consultancy and recently i have been given more responsibilities in my portfolio which will augur well in my plans to climb the corporate ladder (i'm still on track to be a Tan Sri) . I also very much hope to get about RM 5 million worth of projects for this year. It aint easy but thats what i am hired for. Its gonna be a great year for my career! (with rants here and there)

Financials
With the year ending 2005, my financial standing is that i am in deficit (about RM 30, 000 in red) so i guess i will be working towards black.(just like Idris Jala of MAS only my number is far less than his)

Life
For 2005, i have done what i set out for and i am glad i did it. Sometimes the outcome is not what you expected or even wanted but the important thing is to keep the faith (God has His plans for us, so be patient). But i believe that you miss 100 percent the shots you didnt take so i just do it.For this year, i'm gonna be a bit more laid back and let things take its course. I've found my inspiration and I'm all fired up to acheive my dreams.

So thats the summary of what i think i'm gonna do this year. It aint gonna be rosy all year long though, so expect some bitching and ranting here and there (hope its not often). Be Blessed and Yosh!!

Happy New Year 2006!!

Yahoo!! its a new year again!! and i am still recovering from the party fatigue i had last nite. Had a great time at Ryan's wedding dinner where i did some catching up with some friends which i havent met for years. And after all that party, i still managed to catch some theater action today at the Actors Studio where Actorlympics was the show of the day. And to cap the day off was chilling out at Chilli's BSC with Joeboy, Terry and Kelvin. I guess with blurness, this is all i can write so far. All in all, the new year starts with a bang!

Congratulations to Ryan & Joanne!!

One of my best buds, Ryan is having his wedding today on New Year's Eve and what a great day to party!! All best wishes and may God bless you and Joanne always!! Congratulations!

Is the stars out of reach?

It is often said that we must reach for the stars but there are times that i think the stars may be out of reach. Theres not a lot of them on streets either but the not reaching what you aimed for aint the best feeling in the world. At work i am pressured to perform and the financial market out there aint looking that encouraging for me to convince clients that investing in IT is the thing to do to max their ROI. On a personal front things aint looking so rosy either. I felt like i got a cross to bear but sometimes during times like these i wish i can get someting for this pain. The bleeding of disappointements is indeed painful and I do wonder what will happen when it dries and theres no more to bleed. What will I become then? will the fabric of my being change? will I fall to the darkside which is always enticing me with glitter? or will i hold out my essence till my rescue? The only inspiration i can get into my mind is the trials of pain and suffering of another only son that was sent to deliver us all. I think its enough for me to go on through the tough times.I hope i hold out long enough.

A quiet Saturday slumber

Finally after a week long of hard work, its time to rest. Its rarely that i stayed home during weekends and thats been the case for the last 3 weeks. So today i decided that i am gonna recuperate at home watching a stack of DVDs that i havent watched. Oh yeah, the time of the year is also around the corner. I can already feel it in the air. Can you feel it too?

Been Burnin Purple Haze

Its almost one month since i posted anything here. I'm having a hectic schedule for the past weeks due to report writings and all. Till now I'm not having enough sleep and slowly i can feel myself being buggered by fatigue. I'm testing my human treshold time and again by doing this.Is it that i spend so much time for others i dont spend some for myself? Maybe, or perhaps its just part and parcel of life. I got so much to tell here but i'm just to stoned to bother. Remind me of what could have been in this space.

Planetshakers Conference 2006

Planet Shakers was birthed out of a vision that Russell Evans received from God, instructing him to start a youth conference that would change young people, and inspire them to make a difference in their world.

The Planet Shakers Conference began nine years ago with about 300 delegates. Since then, we have seen incredible growth with numbers doubling every year. It is held every year in January, seeing thousands come from all over Australia and different parts of the world.

In 2004, the conference was held in five venues over three weeks. Two weeks in Adelaide, our inaugural week in Perth at Challenge Stadium and two venues in the one week in Brisbane (at Garden City Christian Church and Citipoint COC). Up to 16,000 came along to the night-time meetings. The aim of the conference isn't to entertain but to facilitate a worship encounter with God. 2004 also saw the start of our own Planet Shakers Conference in Malaysia which had a significant impact on youth ministries and churches in all states.

The conference included Electives on Worship, University Outreach, Overseas Missions, Holy Spirit, High School Ministry, and Business & Leadership. The conference had a tremendous impact on the thousands of youth with a strong message to hear the cry of their generation and to respond with the message of Jesus.

DATE: 9-11 November 2006

VENUE: Grand Pyramid Convention Centre, Sunway Pyramid, Bandar Sunway

Find out more here

just a feeling

Nobody knows who I really am

I never felt this empty before

And if I ever need someone to come along,

Whos gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate

The waves keep on coming and we cant escape

But if we ever get lost on our way

The waves would guide you through another day

Nobody knows who I really am

Maybe they just dont give a damn

But if I ever need someone to come along

I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

And every time I see your face

The ocean heaves up to my heart

You make me wanna strain at the oars,

and soon I can see the shore

I want you to know who I really am

I never thought I'd feel this way towards you

And if you ever need someone to come along,

I will follow you, and keep you strong

~just feelings inside me that needed to be let out~

all is good in the hood

well, to sum up the missing weeks:

"work-lepak-work-lepak- work- deepavali-lepak-aidilfitri-lepak-lepak -lepak-work"

...sounds like alot of fun eh....

In Penang!!

yeps..yeps...i'm blogging this while surfing at Starbucks Gurney Hotel! well, i have to come down here for work reasons and i'm gonna go back to KL tommorow.Sighs....good food, good life and also quite a cool rainy nite. Wish it could be like this every day.

Sheesh...

I am slightly slacking in the office these few days, dont know why or how. Its like i'm out-of-form and my goals are sluggishly achieved. I gotta pick up and buck up before it affects my performance. Sighs....

Congratulations to Mike Woon& Alicia Ng

Congrats to my colleague Mike and his wife Alicia on their wedding on the 8th of October 2005! Had a great time at the dinner last night as well as the karaoke session after dinner with the rest of the office. May God Bless Always, Cheers!

Jakarta Journals (part III): A Cook's Tour + Thristy Traveller

Now, I am passionate when it comes to food and drinks whenever i travel. Among the first rules i like to observe is never to eat at tourist joints and try as much to eat as how the locals do. This is what i did exacly in Jakarta.

Food

In Jakarta, the culinary experience is very much Malay influenced with abit of Chinese influences here and there. For starters, their Nasi Padang is a must try at Jakarta. Just chose a decent and clean eatery and treat yourself to some authentic Indonesian cooking ( I ate at Sari Bundo near Alila Hotel). Its unique as the cooking is not so spicy but the add on sambal is. Recommended are the chicken dishes as well as beef rendang. To wash it all down, there is the ultimately delicious "Alpukat" or Avocado juice which is thick and sweet not unlike a fruity milkshake.

Another thing that you should try is the night warungs that they set up around some parts of Jakarta ( my hotel is strategicly near these joints) and i tried one of those for dinner. In these warungs, the recommended dish is the Ikan Gurame (which is very delicate in texture and tastes sweet) which is cooked in a variety of styles. You will never go wrong with the fish.

Not to be missed is the 'Bakso' or Beef Soup with Noodles ( some sort of Beef Kut Teh with meat balls). The one i tried was at the Jakarta Convention Center, Senayan (some restaurant near there, looks quite dodge) it was killer!!

Beverage

Well..err...Indonesia has its own beer too, its call Bintang Beer! its quite smooth and suprisingly nice. But if you wanna binge in Jakarta, be warned it gets expensive if you venture beyond 2 drinks ( USD 10 per drink) . As for clubs....well, look for me and i'll give some more info...cant do it here. ;p

Jakarta Journals (part II): Financial Jakarta

On the way to the Jakarta Convention Center, we drove into the financial district of the city and wow, i'm impressed. They got banks everywhere and these are banks with big buildings ala Sinagpore's Shenton Way area. There are alot of buildings and most are modern. This sight is a impressive contra view to slums and other areas of Jakarta. It seems that their financial market is much more matured than ours and very much dependent on foreign dollars ( from Sgpore & US) . But what you see is only part of the city which has a population of about half of Malaysia, the other parts of the city are not desireable and is very much advised to stay away from. I have seen that part of the city through a short-cut taxi ride which brought me through the squatters of Jakarta under its railway line. Its a real ghetto and the only thing that saved me from unwanted stares is that i am black/biege/colored. If i was a mat salleh, i would have been an easy target for robbery there. Here you can see the poor side of things and the huge income dispairity between the rich and the poor ( as with all metropolis e.g Bangkok, New York, Los Angeles). Seeing all that leaves very much food for thought as well making me hungry.

Next: A Cooks Tour + Thirsty Traveller

Jakarta Journals: First Impressions

Okay, when I first heard that I will be going to Jakarta for an expo together with the team at the office I was cold and not really keen so much on it. I was like what can Jakarta offer (I had different picture of that place then) but after spending six days there and got back I think I have a much improved impression of the place.

On day one, the moment you step out of the plane it feels like you have just turned back time and go back to the eighties. The Jakarta International Airport has the look and feel of Subang Airport long time ago. It seems time didn’t change much here in this place. On the trip to check in at the hotel, i noticed that most of Jakarta looks very much like KL back in the early 80's with lotsa squatters, i mean alot. The scene is very much Asian with motorcycles squeezing for space with cars and everything else on the road. Even in the cab itself, you will get the idea how hot and dusty the city is. With the air-con at full blast i still sweat and trust me its worst in the open.

We checked in at our hotel which is Alila Hotel at "Pecenongan" area of Jakarta Central. Its a nice boutique hotel with minimalist designs and setting. Its zen for some and plain simple for others (if you are the Four Seasons type) . With our bags chucked at the hotel we went for lunch and also explore our exhibition site at the Jakarta Convention Center.

Next: The Financial Jakarta

Interesting facts on Oil Reserves

If you think Malaysia is lucky to have at least an oil reserve, just ponder at these facts..

- There are countries with huge oil reserves that are in poor shape: Iraq, Venezuela and Nigeria to name a few.

- Read somewhere, and i might be wrong but after oil, Iran's second largest export is pistachio nuts. That cant be good. ( I asked someone before what does Iran had otehr than oil. He said "We've got carpets." That doesnt sound good either.)

- Do you know that Norway has a very large oil reserves but it pretends like it doesnt have any?
Hmm...maybe if we can pretend like them??

Spaced Out

Different day, same questions. Still seeking the answers. Pardon me while i burn into flames.

Good Times are Over?? - (paranoia hits me)

I think i have been covering this topic quite often in this blog huh? This piece of news confirms that due to low interest rates and high inflation, our rolling good times of afluenza is over. Some said its due to the high energy prices but i think its a combo a few things. First, our import bill is higher than our exports says here and therefore we are not earning as much as we are buying (on a macro level) Second, we are depending on consumer spending to move the economy and as always a low interest rate for loans and non-upward adjustment to incomes will just last as much as it is now. Thirdly, not many investors are keen on investing here in Malaysia due much better competitive edge offered by Thailand and Vietnam here in SEA and of course India and China globally(less FDI flowing in). Mix these 3 plus energy prices and you get the gist of times to come in the near future.

So what happened you may ask? 2004 was a good year yes it was but 2005 was different. This year more and more Malaysians are on debt and the ones paying the debt that has been spurring the local economy (automobiles,properties, non-essential goods) is having a hard time financing his daily essential purchases due to reduction in fuel subsidies and a not so good macro economic overview. Its a tough year for many lower and lower-middle but how bout the middle and upper-middle income class? Are they feeling the pinch yet? I dont know but from my position i am feeling quite concerned that my investments are shrinking faster due to the high "unofficial" inflation rate of about 6 percent. Damn, the more i process the more confused i have become....

Living a Blessed Life

Are we living a blessed life? Am i living a blessed life? these are questions i ask myself time and again just to keep my feet on the ground. I know i am living a blessed life with all of His loving grace and i dont want to forget that. I am thankful to God that i have good friends and i am in the fellowship of worthy people which i can count on and they can count on me. I am also blessed with a great family that never fail to support me as well blessings in terms of the riches i am able to enjoy. So what can you do when you have all these goodness? well, share the way to achieve it of course!!

There are many people out there that are lost in the darkness and dont know of a better living. I come across these people now and then and i always wonder what if they discover the love of God and change their lives. We have only one chance to live and it would be a waste if we dont do it right. But we who are blessed should extend our arms to the lost ones and try to show them the light. Change things not by preaching through words alone but walk the talk and live life the way He would himself. Be the living example is what i dream to achieve and i hope i can inspire my surroundings to do better for their lives.

Thy Word is a lamp to my feet,

A light to my path alway

To guide and to save me from sin

And to show me the heavenly way.

wish you were here

I'm down and tired, gotta pay my sleep debts....but this is goin on my mind. Been thinking alot about my life lately and while listening to my mp3s i came across this song and its words that reflect my feelings. Ponder it.

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,

Blue skys from pain.

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade

Your heros for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange

A walk on part in the war

For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl,

Year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have we found?

The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

-Pink Floyd

Selamat Hari Merdeka!!!

31st August. What does Merdeka Day means to me? Well, for starters a holiday and second my friend's birthday. But more than that, its the date our country gained independence from the Brits. Yeps, for our forefathers it was a day that they have dreamed and fought toe and nail for. Those days were hard but somewhat tough days makes us much more united than it is now.

I still remember the National Day parades back in the 80's and early 90's. The highlight for me was when the Police and Army took their turn at the Dataran Merdeka and i definitely love the flybys from the Air Force jets. As a kid growing up then, i was excited by the affair mostly because school was out and the jets that took part in the parade will fly pass my house. It was an awesome sight of jets above your head outside your home. It was the good old days where 20 cents aiskrim potong rules with Chicadees. It was fun then and how i wish we can return to the good old days where people work hard and actually do things for the country rather than for money and race.

I believe all of us have a dream of a better Malaysia and of course we dont expect Utopia but at least a throw back to the golden days of the 1980's. For my part, i'll do what i can and if all else fails i will still be proud that when i was a kid i loved my country. Happy National Day guys!

Merdeka Speacial: My Top Ten Wish List

For our country's 48th birthday this year, i have drafted my top ten list of what wish could happen or should happen. Its an open list which i have long thought about and want to share with you all.Here goes nothing....

10. Make me a rich crony so i can help my fellow buddies..i mean fellow citizens.

9. Say 'Tak Nak" to ciggies. For real.

8. What happened to the AP issue? ( not Approved Permit but Ayah Pin)

7. I want some APs too and leave Naza alone. He is kind enuff to make cars cheaper for us to own. You rock man!!

6. Better service from Government Hospitals. Its about time man, its about time.

5. Save the Tigers! No, not the beer but the real ones that can be found waiting to be cooked in dodgy restaurants in places like Puchong and Broga. Burp!..soree...heheh

4.Perodua to continue making us Malaysians proud to own quality cars. It not cheap mind you.

3. Proton to make quality cars instead of the cheap plastic rubbish now. We love ya but even love got its limits. If younger bro Perodua can, you can too!( If Proton quality like Nissan, i sure buy wan)

2. Policies that favour the hardworking and the intelligent (even if its for Ahmad and Ali.. Ah Kow and Muthu can still JV with Ahmad and prosper ;P)

1. God Bless Malaysia!, Its has been a long and tough road to get here and its not gonna be any easier ahead. For everything and nothing else, i pray to God to shower His love and care to Malaysia and shield its people from suffering and to continue the prosperity that we have enjoyed. And oh yeah, continue to give Pak Lah the strength and the will to fulfill his promises as Prime Minister.Amen.

*** Disclaimer****

This list is in no way intended to be political and is done with humour in mind. Also, I am a staunch supporter of the current Government and Prime Minister. All rights reserved and no part of the article may be reprinted or published without the author's consent.Peace Y'all.

These Days

These days - the stars seem out of reach

But these days - there ain't a ladder on these streets

These days are fast, love don't lasts-in this graceless age

Even innocence has caught the morning train

And there ain't nobody left but us these days

-Bon Jovi

It doesnt take a genius to know whats going on in my mind.Its just me.

seeking heaven

Its one of those days again, broke and bored. Weekends arent really an exciting prospect these days with almost all entertainment cost money(movie,theater,shopping,makan and minum) so i should be thankful that i stay at the grounds this weekend and prepare for next week's. Is this the world we live in today? need to spent to enjoy? to some extent it has, even going to church cost money (car fuel). What happens when i dont earn? what happens when i run out of money? would it be nice if i am rich? Yes, being rich is the heaven many is seeking. I wont deny i harbour hopes of being rich but to what extend? The dangers the road of riches are known to plunge unsuspecting blokes to the hell of being drunk with money and power. Once you tasted it, you crave more and more. The hunger will leave you devoid of your soul. You will forget the love and ways of God.
I still cant find the heaven i seek but i do believe its assured if i maintain what is close to my heart and not lose my focus. Patience is key and success is not assured in finding heaven of wealth but it is for health.

How Can We Have The Assurance Of Heaven?

Recognize our sinfulness (Romans 6:23).

Believe Jesus died for us (Acts 16:31).

Receive Him as Savior (John 1:12).

Trust His promise (John 20:31).

questions and answers

"..........this has been going on in my mind for sometime now, maybe days. Is it the right thing to do? One part says i should forget it and another says gamble away. The stakes are high especially when emotions are involved. I have been trying to forget it and only heaven knows how much intellectual reasons i tell myself this plan wont work out. Its still here in my head. The problem is what i feel is honest and i cant find any reasons to justify it. Its there when i wake up and its there when i sleep.

Madness happens when you fall for someone. I am experiencing it right now.I didnt want this to happen because it i am tired of how things end up for me. I always lose, all the time. Maybe its me, maybe i dont have what it takes. I ran away from it for more than a year until now. Deep inside i want to gamble it but burned hands and fears is holding me back. I dont wanna to make a fool of myself again. All i wish for is that what i feel disappears into thin air and save myself from losing what is dear to me. Losing a relationship is painful. It still hurts till today. "

- Tales of a Secret War

I can feel the heat now

Now, for the proper entry of the day. My job at Pharmaniaga is just gettin exciting. I am now tasked with finding suitable companies to meet during our exhibition in Jakarta this September( which i will go barring problems) and it aint easy seeking good companies in Indonesia because they all go with a different name on the Internet and the language is kinda hard to understand. But its all so newto me and today has been very hectic trying to sort out this and few more other stuff. Its gonna be fun these few coming weeks, i can feel it coming. Watch this space for more.

Lost it....

I blow my DDR RAM last nite. As a result i lost a whole long entry i was writing here and i'm still pissed. It was a long economic article expressing my views and thoughts which i had in my head that time. Its lost now along with the darn RAM, and i have to spend 200 bucks gettin a replacement. Such is life.....

Drops of H20

yeps....rain on the streets. its not much but at least it rains and i hope that a thunderstorm will come our way. Its been a long day and Thank God its a fine day! Clearer skies in the day, and drops of jupiter at night....sweet.

BioHaze-ard : State of Emergency

Well, looks like things are getting serious...Port Klang and Kuala Selangor are now in the State of Emergency where all schools, offices and businesses are to be closed. Those exempted are shops selling food, supermarts and clinics and those essential services. I think if things dont change, Cyberjaya and Subang will be the next in the list as things are not looking good in terms of the wind direction as well as the absence of rain. As i met with some folks from Jabatan Kaji Cuaca, they confirmed that chances of respite is quite slim at the moment.
As chronic as it may be, be thankful that other areas like Ipoh, Penang, Melaka are not affected yet by the haze so there is still a chance of an evacuation to these holiday spots. Its time to plan a weekend holiday guys. Its not Game Over just yet.

BioHaze-ard : Dawn of the Red Sun

Damn, the haze is getting worse it seems from yesterday. Everyone is buzzzing around regarding the haze as the air quality has detiorated badly and it seems that we cant do anything much. When i drove to work just now, the sun was just a red dot in the sky....bad omen.....its just twilight zone out there with an API that could be around 200 in Kajang and close to 390 in Cyberjaya. Its not good....just not good.

Hopes and Dreams- Another dude's going on Eurotrip

Man...i havent seen Yee Shin for weeks and now he is going on a tour in Europe this Thursday. I mean this dude followed the example of another friend of ours by quiting his job and just board the plane to UK. Just like that...wow....
This means i have lost another kaki for mamak sessions..sighs... but i really hope he finds his calling on this trip of discovery and fulfill his dreams. I will be following his steps too...soon i hope.

OMG !! I cant believe it all over!!!

Yahoo!!!.. I am now an official graduate student of MMU, yeps yeps....now i'm a qualified ninja after close to one year finishing my studies and working. Its funny that my convocation took place at a time where my career is starting to bloom. I'm happy that after all the playing and disregard of my studies i managed to get my piece of paper qualification .Thank God above!!

This batch of students that graduate will be a promising future for the country as i believe all of us are armed to the teeth with IT knowledge and with the His grace , we will rule one day!! But on the same note, i am sad too that finally my campus life comes to an official end. I never thought my 3 years in MMU will bring so much meaning in life to me. No more skipping classes and waking up late, no more crazy adventures in my Batmobile, no more noises from HB 1, no more gang and most importantly no more carefree days. I know I gotta let it go and look foward to the future but it sure feels like the last episode of Friends, if you know what i mean. Sighs....Thank You and Goodbye MMU, you are the best times of my life.

Another Sunday Jotting

Sundays are always bittersweet for me cause one one hand is still a weekend and on another hand, Monday is just round the corner. Fuel prices are up again...sighs....that means another $4 increase for my full tank. The reason why we are all gloomy when it comes to fuel increase is not the fuel prices itself but the effects of it. Some MF will take advantage and raise their price of goods by 10 cents or 20 cents..biacthes...we all know that 20 cents extra in diesel prices dont transalate to 20 cents on other stuff. You can see all these MF traders around us, the mamak stalls, restaurants and many more shops. I hope these people burn in hell.

Enough of anger management, its time to party!! Next week in convo weekend and i think i can smell party from here...eheheh...Most of my homies already agreed to stay over on friday night and i reluctantly agreed. At first i was thinking of driving up and down the PLUS highway for two days but because i'm gonna end up lepaking till late night on friday, might as well just bunk in. Afterall, its not often that it happens. Cant wait for the party and oh yeah, if you guys think that our scroll is gonna be a nice piece of paper with designs on it ( like all other degrees recognize or not) forget it....MMU's degree scroll is one piece of shit i tell ya, just one piece of A4 paper that can be printed by anybody. So if anyone wants a nice fake scroll with a design based on RMIT scroll, I'm taking orders. Gonna print myself a fake degree.heheh ...nuff said.

just a song...

"Then the rainstorm came over me

And I felt my spirit break

I had lost all of my belief you see

And realized my mistake

But time through a prayer to me

And all around me became still

Through the rainstorm came sanctuary

And I felt my spirit fly

I had found all of my reality

I realize what it takes

I need love, love's divine

Please forgive me now

I see that I've been blind

Give me love

Love is what I need to help me know my name"

Hopes and dreams - My American Dream

What a week it has been, Audiowarfare on Thursday night and lotsa talks on the street on AP's and other political stuff that dont matter to me. Theres also talks of dreams of going abroad to start a new life and most of the time Australia and UK come up tops as choice destination. Deep inside me, i have always dreamt of going to the United States (where dreams can come true) and make it big there, to live the American Dream just like most immigrants that arrive at Lady Liberty's doorstep at NY Harbor once a upon a time long ago. At this moment of time, i'm a bit hesitant of that dream. It seems that right here in Malaysia i might just get a little lucky if i try hard enough and might just end up rich. Also the global situation is just not so conducive for living in the big US of A ( Damn that Redneck President!)
Sighs, bad timing that all these has to happen now when i am eager to venture out and when i have nothing to lose. Or do i have everything to lose? I dunno. But if a better life quality that i am seeking, then the bold move must be made no matter what. The only stumbling block is recognition, a degree from MMu just dont cut out outside Malaysia, know what mean? So my ticket will be an Internationally recognized qualification which i have to take in the near future.
So there's my plan for my hope and dreams. I have a dream but as always the opportunity costs are just to difficult to calculate. Or maybe its time for me to sleep?

Rainy days....

Its been a boring day with a great wheather...yes..i love the rain actually...playing football at the MMU rugby field this evening does bring back some good memories of my good 3 years there. I cant help but miss my uni life and its mostly cause my life is not as happening as it was those days...which ended a year ago...now i have no life, so to speak. I miss hanging out with crowd and also living the hostel life with loud music, Warcraft and Coke, etc....

As this point of my working life, i feel like there is whole range of mountains to climb...if the past 24 odd years have been like Mt. Everest, then this is the K2 summit we are talking about...tougher to crack even for the pros who can climb Everest. Its humbling to know that all the achivement and past glory count for nothing now, its so sobering to think about it when you do at times like today. But despite all this there is one thing that wont change and still counts no matter what happens....His love from above still counts and He is my guide when night falls on my path. Its the truth and by the way, enjoy the wheather...

Clouds...

If you ever bothered to read up my blog once in a while, you will notice that i have gaps in between my post. Well, ever since i left HSBC i seem to be not getting enough time online to update posts and also to get some good sleep. I think i need to revamp my life totally....get more online time and hopefully some life...

Binge Weekend

Man,...its a long time since i enjoyed my self drinking and eating carelessly. On friday night , i had like one of the best weekend night in this year!! Imagine dinner with colleagues at Kelab Golf Negara Subang with 2 bottles of red wine, one 1996 Vintage Dom Perignon champagne, one Martell Cordon Bleu, one Macallans' Forties and of course a cuban cigar. That is what i call enjoying fine moments of life..when you are fortunate to have great colleagues that have memberships to exclusive golf and country club and fine fine alcohol.

Words cant explain the pleasures of that weekend but i think it was partly contributed by the fact it was a mixed feelings week. I had fun at the SAP SummIT 2005 conference and got to know a few chicks..hehe but also some sadness on the London bombings. One moment you are carefree reflecting on a good day and another moment thinking of the events that happen in London. Some people wont be fortunate to celebrate weekends and some will be left with bad memories but i belive that London and her residents will be resilient and overcome this. With my pleasures on the weekend i also extend a prayer to the Lord for His blessings and also for Him to always protect us Malaysians.Amen.

Sunday and Live 8

Yeah man, Bob Geldof organized a hell of show last night from London, Berlin , Moscow, Philidelphia, Paris , Tokyo and a host of other places i cant recall. Live 8 rocks !!...but will it really give an effect to G8 to do something about poverty?..i really hope so. We are living in totally materialistic society here in Malaysia or shall i say Klang Valley. All we do is complain that we dont have BMWs and Evos or that we dont have enough money to buy that RM 400 shoe or clothes at KLCC or One Utama so its a bit hard for me to imagine that they are really people out there who are dying cause they cant afford Panadol or some flu and cough medicine. But its true that some kid in Africa is dying every 3 seconds...yeps. All because they are too poor and all we do is complain that our lives are not fortunate enough. Its sad but i really hope and pray that at least something can be done by powerful nations to eradicate poverty with their billions of dollars that are currently being used to wage wars and to conquer some third world econoy. Damnit G8, its time you put your dollars to some good for once.

Thank God its Friday!!

Well, it has been a very long week indeed. Since Monday, I have not been able to get enough sleep and due to that, my thinking process was a bit affected by it. Oh yeah, I got my car dented by a motorbike too during this week. Sighs, its bad enough the whether is not good at all but these obstacles just do push my patience to a limit. I’m beginning to feel like the global economy where I has been subjected to bad whether and high oil prices with the prospects that US consumer spending wont be increasing soon. Talk about high oil prices, are you one of the people fooled by the rumor that prices are gonna increase? If you are, don’t you know so far all the price increase was announced on Wednesdays? Yea man chill out…petrol price would only increase after the cabinet meets on Wednesdays and the announcement will come on that evening itself via radio and TV. Come on guys, you should know better than trusting some SMS or internet rumor. Have faith in the mainstream media for once in these kind of news.

As i met with Kameeni and Charveen during lunch at Cyberia, i realized that since i have entered MMU back in 2001 till now i have not joined any organization outside of Cyberjaya...MMu...HSBC...now some company at Century Square....wow...i love Cyberjaya!!!
hahaha...and good luck to all my friends that are on a job search, i wish you all the best and may you land the job of a lifetime so we can have a nice chat sometime...kekeke